September 28th, 2008 - The Infinite Pizza Hash

Hash Trash written 3 months after the hash: Okay, this is a memory test. I am trying to get my office straightened out (a futile effort, but it beats writing a paper). This was an interesting hash, a bit out of the way by normal Boston hash standards, but a good trail, and a very creative beer check overlooking a nasty scummy quarry pond. Cums Alone, backsliding scribe

WHEN: Sunday, September 28, 2008, 2:30 pm HST
WHERE: Southside Tavern, Quincy & Varsity Club Quincy
BEER CHECK: by one of the Quincy Quarry water holes
HARES: Hare Club For Queers, Fire in the Hole, You Ought to Blow
BAG CAR: Cums Alone
SCRIBE: Cums Alone
WEATHER: it didn't rain during trail, but poured before and after (the hash gods smiled).

Just Stacy, Laa Laa (visitor from out of town, originally Ft. Eustis, now Tidewater), STD, 0 and 5 (another visitor), I Eat Teabags, Just Jack, Virgin Amanda, Just Angela, Booty Call (Tidewater harriette), Just Laine, Just Seth, Mastergator, Friar F*ck, Virgin Morgan, Spunk in the Trunk, Stick it to the Bros, Sucks Hard for the Money, Placentos the Freshmaker, possibly Catheter the Great (My half mind fails, there may have been others) and Cums Alone (me)

We started from the Southside Tavern, which was virtually empty when we arrived. It's a very hash-friendly place (probably also suitable for an on-in). The patrons were tolerant (they said "bars should be noisy", when I said we'd be leaving soon). We circled up outside, and the pack took off through the neighborhoods of Quincy. As I was driving bag card, I can't be too clear on the details of the trail. Apparently they went along a river (Neponset??) where some guy was fishing and offered to clean up the area a bit if the pack would come back and go skinny-dipping. Now, he obviously didn't know the Hash, since clean up would be optional, and no encouragement is required (if it'd been a bit warmer and if it hadn't poured rain at the end of trail, or he'd have had company). Trail went into some woods, and uphill toward where the hares and I were hiding (next to a big false on the trail), so the FRBs ran up the hill, turned around and went back down only to come up the hill again to the beer check. There were a few mosquitoes (no surprise given the nasty stagnant water below, that discouraged even the most adventurous hasher from diving in).

From the Beer Check trail went more or less directly to the on-in at the Varsity Club. Driving the bag car meant getting there first. Since Friar F*ck was last to the BC, he got a lift to the on-in. Since he was pretty muddy from sliding down a hill, we used Master Gator’s sweatshirt as a seat cover.

As first arrivals at the on-in, we were stunned to see that it was actually a nice bar, with multiple plasma screens for football watching. They had good beer in addition to the usual hash swill. The parking lot was pretty crowded, as was the bar. Was this a disaster in the making??? Actually, it was not. The place was so noisy; the arriving hashers did not disrupt the ambiance. The only drawbacks were that there wasn't a heap of room for the circle, and we couldn’t hear each other in the circle. As a result, I have no notes for the circle (maybe we should learn sign language). There were down downs for the hares, and many of the pack, but I have no idea what was said, since it was that noisy.

Then a most amazing thing happened. The bar started bringing out pizza. And they kept bringing out pizza. The beers were pretty cheap, but the pizza had to have been almost free. The hash started to give away pizza to the tables that were near the circle (thus improving our image, and increasing the odds that we will be welcome back). There were more pizzas than I’ve ever seen at a hash, and it was pretty decent pizza. The on-in bar was only a few blocks from A, and the rain stopped by the time most of the pack left, so this was a successful trail.

"I've never seen you smile like this." - Stick it to the Bros to Hare Club, who was looking at the bill for the pizza at the Varsity Club

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