November 26th, 2006 - Post Turkey Day Gimp Hash

Hare: Muffalotta
Pre-lube: Rudy's
Shot Check: graveyard bordering Rte 16
On-In: Muff's
Distance: 3 miles
Weather: 58 balmy degrees; mostly sunny
Theme: Meet Muff's P*ssy
Scribe: Drippy du Jour (Nips)
RA: High Anus
Demetor: Nips du Jour (Drippy)
Virgins: Arthur & Kyla
Faithful Hound: Sh*tty Trail

The Pack
Friar F*ck, Wee Willy Wanker, Father Birmingham's B*tch, Drippy Spigot, Spongebath Squarepants, Sticks it to the Bro's, Colonel Flagg, High An*s, Grease My Monkey's Nuts, Homobile, Band Camp, Save a Tree Ride a Cowboy, Sugar Plum Fairy, C*cktologist, Just Jimmy, Mr. Rogers, Hare Club for Queers, and N*pples Erectus

Trail
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times…no, wait a second, there really wasn't a bad thing about this trail! Muff pre-laid a fantastic "back-to-basics" trail - it was well-marked and short with just the right amount of sunshine. From Rudy's the pack followed trail up Broadway, meandering up and down some of the side streets, eventually making thier way out to Rte 16 where they came across a playground, and much child-like fun was had by all until a whiffle ball fight broke out and the pack fled from, well, each other. Trail continued up 16, entering a cemetary where they found the shot check. The bad news is that Muff ran out of shots before the entire pack got there. The good news, or gross news, is that while Friar was the last hasher to the the check, he found a bottle of "rum" sitting on a grave and decided to share some spirits with a spirit. That spirit liked drinking with Friar so much that he now resides in Friar's PT Cruiser, and insists on listening to polka music. From the cemetary, trail went down Mass Ave, up Cameron, branching off on some sides streets before it ended back at Muff's house.

Circle
Comments on trail included: "Tastes Great", "Not Enough Running" (seriously, who the h*ll said that?! it's a hash folks!), "Less Filling", "Still haven't found Muff's p*ssy", "Too Many Dead People", and "Best Holiday Trail of the Year". After downing a glass of fine amber cider to the melodic tunes of "She's the Meanest", Muff was promptly booted out of circle where she proceeded to pet her p*ssy for the remainder of circle while her cat watched from the kitchen window. Visitor's were called in next and with no one jumping at the opportunity to down a cold beer, Friar stepped forward to represent Seacoast, with DS du Jour stepping in to show solidarity for her friends to the north, which resulted in NE du Jour having to step in too for reasons far too complex to explain here. Suffice to say, the pile of beer was reduced by 3, and circle continued with the introduction of the virgins. NE du Jour, not to be outdone by HA's stellar performance as RA, cracked her, um, his, dementing whip and promptly brought V.Arthur and V.Kyla to thier knees. Arthur was first - turms out he is a professor, so guess what question he got? But before NE du Jour could get the full question out, his wife V. Kyle shouted out "2!". While this pleased the demetor who likes things in 2's…or 3's… it was not correct, nor her turn, so he completed asking the 69 question only to have V.Kyle blurt out "8.2"! Ahhh, it is clear who wears the pants in the family as I don't think V.Arthur ever got the chance to answer his question as clearly V.Kyle wanted attention, so attention she got as she was asked what her favorite baryard animal was. While she grew up on a farm and listed a slew of the barnyard animals with which she is familiar, her favorite actually turns out to be the squirrel. Who knew?! Sticks was called in to demonstrate how squirrels do down-downs, the virgins were sung to, and then welcomed to the hash.

Accusations
FRB: Father B; FBI: NE du Jour; DFL: Friar; Shameless marketing in circle: Spongy; Same shirt: Sticks It/HA, Mr. Rogers/Sugar Plum, C'tologist/DS du Jour; Drinking a foreign substance out of a rum bottle left on a gravestone: Friar; Backsliding: Wee Willy and Father B; Germans: Wee Willy, Spongy, HA, Father B, SATRAC, Just Arthur; Not having done a down-down: Band Camp, Homobile, Grease

Comments

  • "Hi! How's it going?"
  • "Congratulations!"
  • "Wow, what a beatiful day. Can you believe it is November?"
  • "We're out of shots"
  • "I have haberdashery for sale."
  • "That pizza looks good"
  • "Can I trade my Natty Light for your PBR?"
  • "Sure I'll take a ride home."
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