May 9th, 2007 - Birthday Suit Hash / First Hash of Summer

Date: May 9th, 2007
Hares: Jizzmopper and Stinky Digit
Bag Car: Master Gator and KY Not
Pre-Lube: Sully's
Beer Check #1: Baseball Field near Rt 99
Beer Check #2: Kids playground
On-In: Khoury's
Distance: About 4 miles
Weather: Mid 70's
Scribe: Drippy Spigot
Late Cummers: General Ass Pounder

The Pack

Band Camp, Beat By A Girl, Catheter The Great, Dirty Latte Sanchez, Drippy Spigot, Dude Where's My Virginity, Grease My Monkey's Nuts, Head Master, High Anus, Itchy Scratchy (Okinawa), Squeals Like A Pig (Okinawa), Lickety Slit, Nipples Erectus, Peppermint Pussy, Puff-n-Stuff, Shorn Scrotum, Ski Bobbit, Spunk In The Trunk, Stick It To The Bros, Ken Doll (transplant from Silicon Valley Hash), The Furry, Krusty The Meat Miser, Virgin Lindsey, Mrs. Dick, Just Justin, Virgin Mark, Code Yellow, Just Courtney, Just Cathrine, Just Ellie, Just Christine, Just Bill, Anal Avenger, Piss Stop, Just Jenny, Homobile, Cuffed Stuffed In The Buff, Hare Club For Queers

Trail
The pack circled up outside of Sully's for chalk talk, were the marks were explained. Trail was live, with standard marks and a turkey/eagle split. After a quick warm-up, the pack was away. Trail went north and up to the Bunker Hill monument. After the monument, trail went mostly east and then came to the turkey/eagle split. Both trails ended up being the same distance, with the eagle running through an abandoned and overgrown stretch of railroad tracks. The turkey and eagle joined up and we arrived to the first beer check, a little park near a baseball field.

After the beer check, trail ran across Rt 99 and east along Cambridge St. Trail went mostly north and east until our second beer check, inside a children's playground (complete with children playing). From the second beer check it was a short run up to Broadway and Khoury's our on-in. All in all, a good and well marked trail.

Circle

As the pack was arriving at the on-in, a cat fight broke out between two of the local woman at the bar. One minute they were sitting at the bar chatting, and the next minute they were outside beating the crap out of each other. The last words I heard the woman exchange with each other were "I want to buy Drippy a beer. No, I want to buy Drippy a beer!". Please, ladies, there is no need to fight over your humble scribe. There's enough Drippy for everyone.

After the cops broke up the fight, things settled down and it was time to start circle. Puffy was our RA for the evening. Comments on trail included "Everest Hash House Harriers", "The third leg is always the shortest", and "Best hash for 12 year olds". The hares, JMo and Stinky D, did their down-downs and sang us "Whip it out at the Ballgame".

Then our visitors, Squeals, Itchy, Anal Avenger, Krusty, and Ken Doll drank and Squeals sang us the same song that he sang at the full moon hash a few days earlier.

Then Nips and Cuffy demented our two virgins. First up was Virgin Mark. Just Justin made him come, so Just Justin was Mark's sponsor for the evening. Virgin Mark emphatically and immediately indicated that he would get off on a busload of homosexuals, but he did not know what the square root of 69 was.

Virgin Lindsey claimed that she made herself come, but the truth came out that in fact her dad is a hasher and he made her come. Dirty Latte was elected Lindsey's sponsor as Dirty Latte is also a Lindsey. Asked how Virgin Lindsey would come, she said phone sex with the phone set to vibrate. The sponsors did their demonstration down-downs and then so did the virgins and they were welcomed to the hash.

Next up was the accusations round. JMo and Stinky got to drink for wearing matching shirts, and so did our two Okinawa visitors, as well as the other GMs, present and former. There was also several birthdays: Stinky D, Squeals, Dirty Latte, and Shitty Meats all had birthdays. We sang them Happy Birthday Fuck You, and gave them all a gift. Their birthday gift was one shitty beer, which they had to drink right away.

Puffy wrapped up circle with Swing Low and we then feasted on beer, Khoury's pizza, and yummy birthday cake.

Quotes

  • "Are you familiar with Anal?" "Yes, Very" - Just Jenny
  • "Can I eat the Cock?" - Spunk, asking about the status of the naughty bits on the birthday cake.
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