May 5th, 2007 - Cinco de Mayo Full Moon Hash

Hares: Jizzmopper
Bag Car: Hare Club
Pre-Lube: Hong Kong
FRB Check: Alleyway in front of JMo's apartment
Beer Check: Bridge near the Fort Point Channel
On-In: Bridge under the Barking Crab
On-After: Au Tain
Distance: About 4 and half miles
Weather: Mid 50's and clear
Scribe: Drippy Spigot
Late Cummers: Stinky Digit and Virgin Toffe

The Pack

Beat By A Girl, Drippy Spigot, Dude Where's My Virginity, General Ass Pounder, Homobile, Squeals Like A Pig (Okinawa), Itchy Scratchy (Okinawa), Just Chris, Pubic Service Announcement, Save A Tree Ride A Cowboy, Spunk In The Trunk, Stick It To The Bros, Taj My Hole

Trail

JMo just about has the art of laying a good Cajun down to a science. Trail was very well marked, but with lots of twist and turns to really keep the pack together.

There was some confusion as to the actual start time of the hash but with $6 pitchers of Moosehead beer, the safest course of action was to keep drinking until we were sure we had everyone.

At about quarter past 6 the pack was pried away from the bar and was set loose in Faneuil hall to find trail. Trail went North crossing Rt 93, and then almost immediately to a FRB Check. There were about 6 or 7 beers sitting in the alleyway in front of JMo's apartment. To make sure only hashers were the ones to get the beer, Stinky D left her guard beagle, Toffe, to protect the beer.

After the FRB check, trail went back to over by the Aquarium. It then crossed Rt 93 again and went through Post Office Square. Trail then went West towards Park Street, eventually going through Chinatown and by the Glass Slipper. After about 3 and a half miles the pack came to the first beer check, under a bridge near the Fort Point Channel.

After the check, trail ran by South station and up along the Channel to our often used location, the bridge next to the Barking Crab, about a mile or so from the beer check.

Circle: GAP was our RA for the evening. Comments on trail included "Shitty Trail", and "I need TP for my bunghole", which was prompted by Hare Clubs extended bathroom break at the start of circle.

Our visitors, Squeals Like A Pig and Itchy Scratchy, both from Okinawa, sang us a little song which went like this. "When you were a kid, did you ever wonder if your Mom gave your Dad a blow job right before she kissed you goodnight?" Expect this on the "Hits From The Hash" album, coming to store near you this fall.

Then it was time for accusations. Beat By A Girl got to drink from his new shoes, and so did SATRAC, for whining about something or other. Dude Where's My Virginity got do drink for having a race shirt, and she got to make that a double for changing into jeans before the start of circle. FRB was Just Chris, and DFL was Stick It To The Bros. FBI was a tie so PSA and our visitor Itchy Scratchy both got to drink. Our beloved scribe, Drippy, was cruelly forced to drink for having tech on trail and Homobile got to drink for saying he shouldn't be drinking tonight. In the spirit of Cinco de Mayo GAP announced a Mexican down-down. The hash "Mexicans", Taj, Stinky D, and Stick It, were brought into the circle and did their down-downs. Finally, rounding out the accusations were the backsliders Just Chris and SATRAC.

Speaking of Just Chris, he was long due for a name. Since he blames his sporadic hash attendance on his wife, his suggested names were "My Wife Won't Let Me Come", "Cums Intermittently", "Jesus Saves", and the one that was voted most popular, "Yet To Come Again". Welcome to the hash Yet To Come Again.

This was Stinky Digit dog's first hash, so we quickly demented Virgin Toffe. It should come as not shock that Toffe's favorite sexual position is doggie style. He did a doggie down-down and will now be known as Just Toffe till he gets a proper hash name.

Our Okinawa visitors came bearing gifts, but the pack was going to have to earn them. Itchy Scratchy had an Okinawa shirt that would go to the highest bidder of down-downs. Spunk took the game to a whole other level by winning the shirt with a bid of one down-down and a flash of her boobs. After the display, Spunk was given the Boston Hash Moon name of Lactating Hops.

On sensing that this was a good point to wrap things up, GAP led the pack in swing low and we staggered over to Au Tain, home of $1 drafts.

Quotes

  • "Don't mix my shitty beer with your shittier beer." - SATRAC
  • "I know how to handle the big sticks, just not the little ones." -JMo
  • "There was a guy in the port-o-potty" -Hare Club attempting to explain his extended absence
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