May 2nd, 2007 - Mastor Gator & Hung Like a Jew Down for May 2

Hares: Hung Like A Jew, Master Gator
Bag Car: KY Not
Pre-Lube: JJ Foley's, JP
Beer Check: Franklin Park, JP
On-In: Doyle's, JP
Distance: A little over 3 miles
Weather: Upper 50's and clear
Scribe: Drippy Spigot
Late Cummers: IMEZRU, Stinky Digit
Needed to leave the beer check for a cocktail party: Virgin Alicia, Virgin Carly

The Pack
Peppermint Pussy, Deep Black Hole, Headmaster, Metrosexual Healing, Drippy Spigot, Stick It To The Bros, Puff-n-Stuff, Shitty Meats, Cuffed Stuffed In The Buff, High Anus, Virgin Joanna, Just Jenny, Virgin Justin, Re-Virgined Courtney, Virgin Catherine, Shorn Scrotum, Goat Throat, Spunk In The Trunk, Jizzmopper, Cardinal Law, Used To Like Bush (with the twins)

When I see the words Hung Like A Jew, Master Gator, Hares, and JP all in the same sentence, I think it's time to get out the shiggy shoes, because we're going to run through the Arboretum. However, those tricky hares decided this time to change things up a bit.

We circled up for chalk talk outside of JJ Foley's and Puffy explained the marks, which were standard with the exception that this time at the T/E split, T is for tough and E is for easy. It seems Master Gator got himself lost while pre-laying Eagle, so you were truly on your own if you took Eagle.

After a double song warm up round, the pack was off at about quarter past seven. Trail ran North up Washington St., and then took a right, heading away from the Arboretum, and towards Franklin Park instead. The pack spent most of the trail in Franklin Park, up and down hills, through the golf course in the park. After about two miles of some mild and scenic shiggy, the pack came to the first beer check which was up on a small hill on the western edge of the park.

After the beer check, trail exited the park over a six foot fence and then ran North on Forest Hills Street, then cutting over back to Washington Street, where trail went South and to our On-In, Doyle's, which was about a half mile from the start. All in all it was a nice, short, and well marked trail.

Puffy was our RA for the evening. Our hares, Hung Like A Jew and Master Gator, were brought into the circle. Comments on trail included "Four out of six virgins approved this trail", "Needed more fat kids on trail", "What was with the back check 69", and "Not enough virgins to scare away".

After our hares sang the pack a song, Cuffy brought our four remaining virgins in the circle. First up was Virgin Justin. The Internet made him come, and he almost proved himself a good Internet stalker by almost getting what the square root of 69 was. For the record, "A good time", and "Eight point something" are close but not correct answers.

Next up was Virgin Joanna. High Anus made her come through various means including, but not limited to, phone sex, D sized batteries, and fur lined hand cuffs.

Virgin Courtney was next. Actually, Virgin Courtney ran with us once before way back in 2001. Little did she know virgin runs expire after 5 years if you don't come back, so Cuffy got to de-virginize her for the second time. Virgin Courtney heard about the hash from Swells Like Torn Anus, and would absolutely get off on a busload of lesbians.

Last but not least was Virgin Catherine. Virgin Courtney made her come and she was not sure if the ball bearing fall out of the rabbit. She almost, but not quite was able to determine what "all you can eat for under a dollar" was.

After the pack deemed the virgins worthy, it was time for accusations. Metrosexual Healing, Master Gator, and Hung Like A Jew all drank for being backsliders. Metrosexual Healing excuse was that he was under house arrest from the girlfriend.

Drippy, Headmaster, Deep Black Hole, Cuffy, and Shitty Meat all did down-downs (not once or twice, but three times) for having the same shirts. Deep Black hole got to drink for tripping over a fat kid and hash crashing. IMEZRU and Stinky D got to drink for having a sweat test failure. After the accusation round, Puffy led us in Swing Low and closed out the books on this hash.


  • "Curling is very arousing to me." - Deep Black Hole
  • "Does anyone have any chalk?" - One of the hares to the pack before the start of trail.
  • "Hi. Can you deliver an order of french fries to JJ Foley's?" - Cuffy on his cell phone to the pizza place two doors down from Foley's
  • "By the way, you have very soft hands." - Hung to Metrosexual Healing
  • "Why am I wearing handcuffs?" - Deep Black Hole
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