May 16th, 2007 - Toga! Toga! Toga! Hash

Hares: Dirty Latte Sanchez, Dude Where's My Virginity, and Catheter The Great
Bag Car: Catheter The Great
Pre-Lube: Whitney's Harvard Square
Beer Check: Albany Street Garage
On-In: Crossroads
Distance: About 6 miles
Weather: 47 degrees and raining
Scribe: Drippy Spigot
Late Cummers: General Ass Pounder

The Pack

Beat By A Girl, Cuffed Stuffed In The Buff, Deep Black Hole, Drippy Spigot, G String, Goat Throat, Hare Club For Queers, Head Master, High Anus, Just Jenny, Just Justin, Just Lindsey, Lickety Slit, Nipples Erectus, Peppermint Pussy, Shaguar, Snatch Squatch, Spunk In The Trunk, Taj My Hole, Virgin Will, Virgin Andrew, Just Bradford, Virgin Chris, Just John, Shitty Meats, Just Ellie, Stick It To The Bros


It took a while to push the pack out of the warm and dry bar, but eventually at about 7:20 we circled up for chalk talk in the little park across the street from Whitney's. On count of the rain, trail was changed to Cajun. As the pack was already wet and the hares were well on their way, we did a quick round of introductions and skipped the warm up.

Trail wandered around Harvard Square for a bit, and then ran into Harvard Yard. Trail marks were inconsistent, parts of trail were well marked, but parts of trail didn't have enough marks for a Cajun trail which caused the pack to split up and wander around aimlessly in the rain. After a bit of confusion through Harvard yard, trail emerged on the north end of the yard and then doubled back south to Harvard St, where trail went east to Central Square. At Central Square, marks were sparse again, causing lots of wet wandering.

From Central Square, trail twisted and turned south and east, towards MIT. Trail then came to what would have been the first beer check, but it was outside at the park with the cannons and large flag, so the hares skipped the check and ran us up Vassar Street back to Mass Ave.

On the corner of Mass Ave and Albany, we found the hares, looking a little lost. They seemed to have lost their bag car. Once they found Catheter The Great (and the beer), we ran up Albany Street to the MIT garage there, where the pack was glad to get out of the rain after over 5 miles of running.

From the beer check, trail was a straight shot over the Harvard Bridge right into Crossroads, where half the pack had to wait outside because they left their ID in their bags. (Hashing tip #69: Always run with your ID).


Gap was our RA for the evening. Comments on trail were "I'm wet", "Not enough rain on trail", and "Too long to the beer check". The pack sang "Shitty Trail", the hares did their down-downs and sang "Follow the Hares".

We had no visitors, so we went straight to our three strapping young virgins. Nipples was our dementress for the evening. First up was Virgin Chris, who said Snatch Squatch made him come. When Nips asked how he could make Snatch wet and happy, he replied "by pouring beer down her snatch". Snatch was unavailable for a comment or a demonstration.

Next up was Virgin Andrew. He foolishly admitted that Virgin Will made him come. When asked how many times did Virgin Will make him come, he said "Just once", and asked if he would come again with Will he said "Yes, certainly".

Last up was Virgin Will. He said "Your Mom" made him come, and would not get off on a busload of homosexuals. Then Nips asked all three virgins what was square root of 69. Virgin Will, who must have some sort of MILF complex, answered "Your Mom" again, Virgin Andrew was the closest with an answer of 8.2, and Virgin Chris wasn't coached very well by Snatch because he said 7.2. To decide whether the virgins were worthy, Virgin Will and Nips played paper rock scissors. Paper covers rock so the virgins were welcomed into the hash.

Then it was time for accusations. Spunk drank for almost getting plastered by a car in Harvard Square. Drippy got to drink for a false accusation because getting plastered is hashlike behavior. In the hash Bizzaro world, High Anus was DFL. Deep Black Hole was FBI. The two of them got to stay in circle because they had on the same shirts, and so did Stick It. Shaguar and Snatch were our backsliders for the evening, and Snatch, GAP and Just John got to drink for having a sweat test failure. Peppermint Pussy and Catheter the Great were measuring each other to find out which one was really shorter, so they got called in for having a private party. And wrapping up the accusations, everyone who wore a toga (which was well over 1/2 the pack) got to drink.

In a feat of remarkable RA timing, GAP wrapped things up with a swing low, just as the first pizzas arrived. All in all, for a couple of virgin hares, they did a good job. I'm looking forward to their next trail.


  • "If there's going to be a nipple sandwich, I want to be the mayonnaise." - G String
  • "Drippy loves Anal" - Anonymously written in my notebook. Which is why a scribe should not leave their notebook unattended. Ever.
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