March 19th, 2008 - The BMH3 Wet Moon

Date: March 19th, 2008
Hares: The Jizzmopper
Bag Storage: Wang Chunks
Pre-Lube: The Muddy Charles
Beer Check #1: Just off the railroad tracks behind a warehouse just west of Mass Ave.
On-In: The Muddy Charles
Distance: 4.62 miles
Weather: 40 degrees and drizzly wet, as promised!
Scribe: DEEP Black Hole
Fill-In Bathroom Run Scribe: Wet Hood/Crucifux

The Pack: NAMBLA, Wet Hood (also known as Crucifux), Floppy Dick, Wang Chunks, DEEP Black Hole, Glitorus (also known as Hare Club for Queers)

Late Cummers: Holy Ozone

Introduction:

If you were thinking of going to this month's Boston moon hash and didn't
(because it was raining, or because it was cold, or because you were lazy) - you
are a wanker. Because it was an excellent hash, complete with fake condoms at
the beercheck (hashers have overactive imaginations), and a sit-down circle with
quiet voices inside singing. And if you thought small hashes don't have a lot
of beer, you were wrong. Additionally, we had a few namings and some new hash
vocabulary lessons.

Trail:

The pack was a small one, with an average of 6.9 people present. As the pack
made its way to bag car (chalk talk? we don't need no stinking chalk talk at
the moon hash), it encountered JMo, who was trying to find the bag car in order
to mark trail from it. Whatever. Trail basically made a 1 mile run into a 4
mile run by meandering around Kendall square, winding around Vassar ave past the
big building turd that is the Stata center, cutting up Mass ave to Albany street
via the parking garage, going past sketchy warehouses that store who knows what,
and up to the park that has all those cannons in it (what the hell is the name
of that park?). From the park, there was some nice squishy wet mud shiggy
leading past the MIT police station (good times) and down the train tracks to
right behind some warehouse with lots of weird metal "furniture"

The beer check was long, which is the way I like it. There was like,
philosophical and historical discussions about the Boston Hash and about how
much it costs to even bid for World Interhash (Hare Club almost fainted). There
was what appeared to be a condom in a puddle back there, prompting JMo to remark
"Who the heck gets it on back here?" Fortunately, MIT students haven't sunk to
a new low by screwing behind the warehouses by the tracks - said "Condom" was
actually a bottle cap. Hare Club poked at the over-frosty nitrogen tank with a
metal rod he found. Nothing like poking ice with your rod to get your jollies.

From the beer check, pretty much everybody ignored JMo's trail, which he set
diligently, and went past the Chemistry building at MIT. Instead, the pack took
one of two routes.

1 - down Vassar to Main, to Wang's car to get bags.
2 - down the "Infinite Corridor" and then wandering their way till they figured
out where the hell the Muddy was. It just goes to show you that some hashers
have problems with navigating long passageways…

But, luckily everybody made it back to the Muddy for circle!

Circle:

Wang Chunks was RA for the evening. We called JMo as hare into the circle and
sang our standard song. Upon finishing the bartend wasn't too pleased with our
musical stylings, so we had "subdued" circle, conducted by siting around a large
round table. Everybody drank for sitting in circle (social!). I think the MIT
folks enjoyed our songs (people were laughing and smiling and giving us slightly
strange looks, but didn't look annoyed), and the bartender was in a bad mood
because he didn't get any action by the tracks. Whatever.

FBI was NAMBLA and Crucifux. I think there was some gender confusion. FRB was
Floppy. Wang Chunks was accused of getting kicked out of Sligo on St. Patty's
day for sexually harrassing Sugar Plum Fairy. Okay, maybe all that isn't true,
but the scribe writes history. But some of it was true, causing Wang to do a
down-down.

This story prompted a moon naming for Wang Chunks. Wang basically named himself
- right when he came back from the bathroom, I remarked "wow, that was fast" and
he replied "I don't waste my time down there." Hense, Wang Chunk's moon name is
"I Don't Waste My Time Down There", or IDWMTDT for short.

Because the moon hash was on a roll for namings, and because Wet Hood (Crucifux)
had suggested "Rough Trade" for IDWMTDT's naming, the moon hash re-moon-named
Wet Hood "Rough Trade". I thought she was named Rough Train, but apparently
scribe's hearing was affected by beer by that point. Congratulations to Rough
Trade and IDWMTDT for their new moon hash names.

During the namings, Glitorus (Hare Club) had been trying to flip a St. Patty's
day pog into various beer glasses, and was thus accused of being ADD. NAMBLA
was accused of being a 15th century monk (did I mention there was a lot of beer
for everyone?). I was accused of going to Ireland (true), and JMo was accused
of stealing his own hat (false accusation).

At this point, Glitorus decided it was time for mexican down-down time. If
you've never experienced a Glitorus /Hare Club Mexican down-down, you have not
clearly lived. He has a damn poncho or some such that he brings out secretly,
then screams "MEXICAN DOWN-DOWN!". It's like declaring a Chinese fire drill,
except it involves a different nationality.

I accused IDWMTDT/Wang Chunks of being an MIT alum, so we both drank. We tried
to sing the MIT fight song, and then the MIT drinking song, and failed horribly.
For the number of drinking songs IDWMTDT knows, he should know the MIT drinking
song. Especially since it has dirty verses. But Wang did a solo on a song
called "lube" to make up for it.

At this point I had to break the seal, so I went to the loo while Rough Trade
took over as fill-in bathroom run scribe. Here's what she wrote:

"Shakes the Clown Penis" - NAMBLA's fraternity name

Bob cat Gothwant - how did this get in? I love police academy.

Hashonal Pornographic - world-wide hash publication.

NAMBLA invites us to a monthly challenge - eh?

Right. I have no idea what that all was about. But good job Rough Trade!

The pack sang the Sombrero song, then swang low as the beer was finally all
gone.

Announcements:

Next Moon hash is during M*rathon week and is the 69th moon hash! Hare Club
will hare - watch the Boston R*ns list for more detrails!

Quotes:

"If you have fecal to bounce off of" - JMo

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