March 18 2003

Date: Tuesday March 18, 2003
Theme: Boston St. Patrick's Moon Hash
Hares: The Jizzmopper
Start: The Burren, Davis Sq. Somerville
Beer Check: at Wee Willie Wanker's backyard (also the end of trail, the
On After: Joe Sent Me, Cambridge
Time: 6:30 p.m. HST
Total Distance: 4 circle jerking miles
Scribe: Cums Alone
Weather: 40 degrees or so

Hashers Present: The Jizzmopper (hare), Impo-tent (bag car harriette), Just
Amy (3 hashes), Anal Avenger, At Your Cervix, Cockpit (aka Hot T*ts
Hoolihan), Cum Prick Pow, Cums Alone (me, the scribe), Friar F*ck, F*cks
Like a Rrrrabbit, Hare Club for Qu*ers, Just Laura (4 hashes), Lickety Slit,
Lube Me In, One Drunk Walking, Palm Pilot, Pond Scum, Puff-n-Stuff, Sh*tty
Trail, Sphinctersicle, Sponge Bath Square Pants, Stuff Me, Swells Like Torn
*nus, You're Not My Daddy, Wee Willie Wanker

Virgins: none

Visitors: technically, everyone is a visitor except for Jizz and maybe
You're Not My Daddy, who was named by the Moon hash

Late Cummers: none, but then I didn't go to the on after at Joe Sent Me

The Start and the Run:
Hashers gathered in the Burren. We did not achieve critical mass by 7, so
more beers were ordered (along with some food). Eventually, everyone arrived
except Sphinctersicle and Pondy. They had called on their cell phone while
we were giving the hare a head start. We saw them drive by, but then they
failed to reappear, so we took off.

Trail went towards Tufts U, where we found a turkey/eagle split. We took the
turkey trail, which lead over past Nathan Tufts Park (a massive cluster f*ck
intersection with a large park with a huge phallic tower in the middle) and
past the Tufts track. We found a check and went forward and found no trail,
we went to the right and found no trail. Then we saw the eagles coming
toward us from the left. Ahah. True trail went BACK on the opposite side of
the street, the way the turkey trail had come in, back to Nathan Tufts Park.
For a while we had had F*cks Like a Rabbit running sweep, but she had
vanished (seems that Jizz had cum back and snared the other hare to help him
set trail).

And then we found another check. And then we found another (did I say there
were a lot of checks?). True trail went around the Square to another check
… the pack ran up through the park in the middle, but didn't find trail on
the other side. We ran around Nathan Tufts Park at least 3 or 4 times, and
ran down side streets fruitlessly searching.

The Jizzmopper finally reappeared. Seems that Anal Avenger had scared him
off, so he actually had screwed up the trail and hadn't exactly set it out
of Nathan Tufts Park. We were told to go back toward A, Davis Square. Not
content with making us dizzy already, true trail ran 360 degrees around the
park to the final end at Wee Willie Wanker's backyard.

The on in:

Sphinctersicle was RA. Comments included: "Sh*tty Trail", "Circle Jerk",
"Trail was very very bad", "Nice moon", "licketh my ball sweat", "when you
get back to the same point more than once???" The hare did his down down and
sang some forgettable song.

Irish Pinata: after the circle ended, there was Irish pinata smashing …
the shamrock shaped pinata was filled with candy, plus a few nips of liquor.
The pecking order was established by speed of down downs: Palm Pilot,
followed by (not in order) One Drunk Walking, Hare Club and Cockpit/Hot T*ts
and Wee Willie Wanker. Eventually, enough hashers whacked the thing to open
it up. And everyone scrambled around in the dark looking for candy and

FRB: Anal Avenger
First Turkey: Friar F*ck
DFL: At Your Cervix
Anal Avenger got a down down for not snaring the hare (just scared the sh*t
out of him, so the hare messed up the rest of trail)
Missing cranium covers: At Your Cervix, Lickety Slit, Just Amy
Torn An*s got a down down for not wearing underwear (or maybe for taking off
his pants and leaving 2 pairs of underwear at last Sunday's on-in?)
I got a down down for screwing up Sphinctersicle and Pondy by telling them
they had plenty of time before we left.

I'd be afraid to be your p*nis - F*cks Like a Rrrrabbit to Hare Club,
regarding his whacking skills
No car bombs - Lubie
I have whacked so many times before - ?? Palm Pilot

—- Cums Alone, your humble scribe

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