January 5 2003

Date: Sunday January 5, 2003
Start: Triple D's in Jamaica Plain
Theme: Fellowship of the Jizz, or Trail of the D*mned
Beer Checks: on Muffalotta's (and The Jizzmopper's) roof deck, second one
was outside in a park somewhere (but a number of us didn't find trail to the
second BC)
On In: at Just Melissa and Just Stephanie's apartment in Brookline
Hares: God It's Small (a.k.a. Jizz), Hot for Jizz, Here's Jizz in Your Eye,
The Jizzmopper
Time: 2:30 p.m. HST
Total Distance: many lost miles
Scribe: Cums Alone
Weather: cold, with icy pavement conditions

Hashers Present: God It's Small (hare, also nicknamed Jizz), Hot for Jizz,
(hare), Here's Jizz in Your Eye (hare), The Jizzmopper (Hare), At Your
Cervix, Biker Chick, Cum Prick Pow, Cums Alone (me, the scribe), Deep
Throat, Double Flush, Friar F*ck, Grease My Monkey's Nuts, Hare Club for
Q*eers, Hole in the Bucket, Limp Weiner, Just Loc, Just Maggie, Just
Melissa, Menage a Tw*t, One Drunk Walking, Pat My Fly, Puff-n-Stuff, Shine
On Harvard Moon, Shitty Trail, Snoreplay, Just Stephanie, Stuff Me, Sugar
Plum Fairy, Sweet Molasses, Swells Like Torn *nus, Tattoo My Scrotum, The
Fat One, Tongue Me Please, Wee Willie Wanker, WinToes69

Late Cummer (but I believe she left shortly after we did): Impo-tent

Virgins: there were 8 of them, but since I wasn't at the circle (there
wasn't enough room to have a circle), I never got their names.

Visitors: Bam Bam from Ithaca H3, Sphinctersicle (Hartford H3)

I may have missed one or two others!

The Start and the Run:
Hashers gathered for a prelube inside the Triple D's. There was some
mumbling about poor directions to the start (the directions from the T said
go left, but it was a right). Bad omen.

We set off toward Jamaica Pond, and then the FRBs found a check back to
Triple D's. True trail sort of wound around toward Boston … there was a
turkey eagle split, but I missed that (fortunately, I was on the Turkey
Trail). Could we be heading toward chez Muffalotta/Jizz for a beer check?
Yep. We slid across the ice-encrusted Huntington Ave (Rt. 9) to the alley
behind the building … the door to the apartment building was locked, so we
waited with a number of other hashers to be let in. Up to the roof deck we
went, and although it was cold, the beer made us feel warm. Then down and
out we went … to the turkey eagle split in front of the building.

That, my fellow hashers, is when the sh*t hit the fan. The turkeys went one
way, the eagles another. The turkey trail went to Brookline Village to a
misplaced check (we found out later that it was supposed to be an arrow
going the other way?) and then back over toward Longwood Ave and the
Riverway. Or did it? The FRBs had run from that direction, so were we
possibly following their trail backwards to the first beer check? Maybe.
The FRBs actually did the turkey trail loop and back to the intersection of
Longwood. We milled about at the intersection, and then decided to go back
to the first beer check.

Then back to Brookline Village we went … and this time after calling
WinToes (who had left), we (the turkey trail crew) went over to Route 9 …
yep .., there was a trail going that way, too. Okay. So arbitrarily we
decided to go straight to B, which was rumored to be at the site of the BH3
New Year's Eve party. Only problem was that none of us in the turkey pack
had been to the party. Hotline had not been updated. We missed where trail
went off to the second beer check, but hardly needed the extra mileage, and
it was getting very cold. We checked the hotline again and it was updated.
But, they had directions from the T stop, and we weren't at the T, we were
at Route 9 … we knew it was off Cypress off Route 9, but which direction?
Oh, and the house number was a bit garbled, and the turn onto the street the
house was on didn't say right or left. Fortunately, we called WinToes
again, and he told us how to get to the right street, and said the house was
on the corner. Also fortunately, a couple FRBs had arrived from the beer
check. Unfortunately, no one was there from the house, so we were there on
the street, in the cold and the bag car had yet to arrive. We started
"chanting kill the hares". The bag car arrived, and Menage and Shine On
implored Hot For Jizz to give them a ride back to their cars so they could
leave (it was after 5). I also retrieved my car (I had 3 other hashers going
to the BU hockey game, we needed to leave as well).

The on in:

Puff & Stuff was RA. The circle was in a small living room, which had room
for maybe 10 hashers. As Shine On left, Puffy was dementor for the virgins
who were still remaining (I know that 2 of them had to leave). I was told
it was an abbreviated circle, with the virgins brought in and little else.

Accusations: If the hares were not tarred and feathered for the trail they
set, and given bread and water (no beer), then we should take care of that
at the next hash!

There was homemade lasagna and salad, but they were not expecting a large
pack (since almost every hash now has 35-45 hashers, future hares should be
prepared!). Fortunately, for the hares, at least 10 hashers left before the
circle ended.

Quotes: none that are printable


4 hares, no hare sweeping?
2 hares were unfamiliar with the area
the 2 virgin hares were not assisted with setting trail
Hares divided up to set different portions of the trail (so turkey and eagle
trails crossed each other)
long trail starting a half hour later than usual (we finished at 5, and it
was getting very cold)
trail was okay to the first beer check
On in location was too small for the number of hashers
Great home made food

—- Cums Alone, your humble scribe

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