January 31 2003

BOMBASH 2003, Jay Peak Vermont, English Rose B & B,
Montgomery Center
Weather: we were most lucky .. it was extremely warm
by Jay Peak standards .. around 20 degrees F for
skiing on Saturday, not bad at all. And then it snowed
on Sunday morning, making for an interesting drive

Ah yes, How long was it? (I am thinking big …
The drive was advertised as 3 1/2 hours from Boston
and Ottawa. I am not likely to drive within the speed
limit, and the trip back took 4 hours, since we left
early. Cream Whora and More Semen Please left at 4
p.m. and had a 7 hour drive, due to traffic, etc.
Peniscillin's road trip from Ottawa via Montreal was
worse … his excuse: "I left Ottawa at 2pm but
accomplished this 3.5 hour journey 8 hours later and
got a $186 speeding ticket. I also had to forfeit some
hash food to the US Customs, because it wasn't
produced locally." (given the speeding ticket, someone
needs to buy him a good map??)

Who was there:
Boston H3: Anal Avenger, Ching Ching, Cream Whora, Cum
Prick Pow, Cums Alone (me, the scribe), Just Dawn,
Deep Throat, Deposits in the Rear, Hare Club for
Que*rs, Just Ian, Just Joe, Little Dead Birds Covered
with Oil, Mom’s Cumming, More Semen Please, Pony
Express, Prom Cream, Sponge Bath Square Pants
Everyone else: Babe Thruster (Gulf Coast H3-Mobile,
Alabama), Bang Cock (Orlando H3), Bobit/ANON (Ottawa
H3), Delhi Belly (Ottawa), Follow My T*ts (Hartford
H3), Gafami (Burlington H3), Going Down (Montreal H3),
Just Liz (Burlington H3), Moaning Mudsticker (Montreal
H3), Peniscillin (Ottawa H3), Spits with Lips
(Burlington H3), STPTP (Burlington H3)
Joined us for dinner Saturday: F*ck Loric and Total
Fuck Up (both of the Montreal H3)

Visitors from Newport H3: Humpy Heffermeister, Rigor
More Dick joined us in the bar at Jay Peak Saturday
after the lifts shut down

19 Year old virgin, who got booted out of the B & B
for drinking hash beer: name unknown (he heard the
hash singing and crashed the party at the B & B. More
Semen Please rejected a 19 year old French Canadian
virgin guy getting drunk on our beer? what was she

Let's see. We arrived Friday evening, and started
drinking. We got up Saturday morning and eventually
mobilized to go skiing. We all got these really cool
hooded sweatshirts (except that LDB will need to sew
two of them together, being the massive hunk that he
is). And oh what else? Umm, we had breakfast on
Saturday and Sunday plus Friday and Saturday dinner
included in the price of the weekend (and did I say
"unlimited beer"???). It was a most fun, total
partying, weekend.

Saturday we all went skiing, but in true hash fashion,
never set up a time or place to meet at the end of the
day. Prom Cream and I had beer for lunch and then went
back to the bar around the time the lifts closed and,
sure enough, there was the rest of the pack. Humpy
Heffermeister (Newport H3), and Rigor More Dick
(former Boston now Newport), joined up with us for a
few beers. They had been telemark skiing at Jay and
were staying somewhere an hour south. Was great to
see them.

Anal Avenger and Hare Club felt the urge to set a
trail on Saturday evening, after everyone had returned
to the B & B from slope side imbibing (Around 15 of
the hashers were able to do this, the rest of us
stayed at the B & B and continued to drink inside).
Trail went in a circle on the roads around the B & B,
but then went through hip deep snow back to the field
behind the B & B. We could hear them singing songs out
in the field. Although they thought they had taken all
the beer, they hadn't, so no one cared. It is rumored
that Gafami earned a hash nickname during Saturday
night's circle "Those aren't pillows", but I wasn't

And did I mention that every once in a while the
innkeepers would just freak out a little? Maybe it was
because we ALMOST had the place to ourselves … we
found out as we were leaving on Sunday morning that
that one couple was on their honeymoon (oops).

Quotes from Friday evening (and a couple from Saturday
as well):

Menage a Trois (regarding 2 hashers plus a doll. all
of the rooms at the B & B had stuffed animals and
dolls for decoration)
"I shouldn't have chugged the last beer, even you are
funny." - Cums Alone to Anal Avenger
"I'm having trouble keeping my legs together, how do
you do it?" - Deposits in the Rear to More Seamen
"If I can't score, can I get an assist?" - I forgot
who said that
"I've never seen you with a buzz on." - Sponge Bath
Square Pants to Cums Alone
"Where have YOU been?" - Anal Avenger to Sponge Bath
Square Pants
"That's even smaller than mine." - Sponge Bath to Babe
"I have to smell his breath first and then I'll
decide." - Spits with Lips
"Can you pass me that penis?", Bang Cock to
Peniscillin while pointing at a coffee pot (or
"Yes, I broke a ski on Sunday's first run. This was at
the top of the longest run so I had to walk about 3
miles back to the bottom (and these boots weren't made
for walking - my feet f*cking hurt)." - Peniscillin
Peniscillin to Scott while giving him his gratuity,
"Well thank you for everything, its been a well … a
very interesting weekend." The B&B owners laughed.

Spongebath Song
"Who's the hand upon my cheeks?
He squeezes the pineapple under the sheets.
Why is he sleeping upside down?
I think those teeth are making me frown.
Sponge Bath Square Pants, Sponge Bath Square Pants" -
song invented by Anal Avenger regarding Sponge Bath
Square Pants who was sharing the "Touch of *ss Room"
with Babe Thruster

Hash Joke: What's the difference between a hash hook
up and a hash relationship? …. oh, about 5 weeks. -
observation by Cums Alone

And then we skied. We skied for hours uprooting trees,
and bushes, and snowmen, and it was a source of great
joy and personal satisfaction. And then we skied
again, this time like Vikings, with horns on our
heads. Skiing, who said skiing?; I'll have some of
that. We don't need mountains with good taste; we need
mountains with good beer.

The skiing was great!

(I am leaving out major details in order to protect
the privacy of the participants. And I go into rehab
this week)

Many Many thanks to Cream Whora, More Semen Please,
and Peniscillin for organizing!

—- Cums Alone, your humble scribe

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