January 26 2003

Date: Sunday January 26, 2003
Start: Wellington T Stop, Medford
Theme: Robbie Burns goes to the Stupor Bowl
Beer/whisky Check: along the Mystic River in Somerville
On In: Khoury's State Spa, Somerville
Hares: Ski Bobbitt, Geezer Seizure, and Pond Scum
Time: 2:00 p.m. HST
Total Distance: 3 or 4 miles?
Scribe: Cums Alone
Weather: a balmy 36 degrees, but it dropped quickly, with icy conditions

Hashers Present: Geezer Seizure (hare), Pond Scum (hare), Ski Bobbitt
(hare), Anal Avenger, Biker Chick, Just Christie (2 or 3 hashes?), Cream
Whora, Cum Prick Pow, Cums Alone (scribe), Deep Throat, Deposits in the
Rear, Dribbles, Just Elizabeth (2 hashes), Friar F*ck, Grease My Monkey's
Nuts, Hot for Jizz, I Left My Heteros*xuality in San Francisco, Impo-tent,
Just Jamie (hash 7 or 8?), The Jizzmopper, Limp Wiener, Master Gator, Just
Melissa (2 or 3 hashes?), Mom's Cumming, Just Nicole (2 hashes), One Drunk
Walking, Palm Pilot, Pat My Fly, Petting Officer Sucking *ss, Prom Cream,
Puff-n-Stuff, Shank & Wank, Shine On Harvard Moon, Stuff Me, Sugar Plum
Fairy, Swells Like Torn *nus, Trail Hoover, Virginia Slim, Who's Ron
Jeremy, WinToes69

Late Cummers: Rectal, Just Betsy

Virgins: Alex (he was at the bar, is from the Ukraine), Karen, Laura (they
arrived late)

Visitors: Sphinctersicle (Hartford H3), Madame Flutterby (Happy Valley H3),
Bang Cock (Orlando H3), Oozing Syphilitic Dictaphone (RI H3/Boston B*tch)
Backsliders/Visitors: EverReady Special Edition, Kneeling Room Only and Mr.
Peabody (hashing dog), they have moved to the RI H3

The Start and the Run:
We gathered up for the explanation of marks, by the Wellington T Stop. Ah
yes, the hares said they saw the Boston Moon Team Drunk hash trail while
setting their trail, as remnants of that trail were still visible, after 9
days (it had been cold, with no melting). Maybe that should have been taken
as a warning, since none of the hares had been on the moon hash evening's

The pack took off on a large circle jerk that returned to A. Then true trail
went into the station and onto the little monorail to the parking garage.
From the garage, trail went in the less obvious direction from a check.
Falses were all over the place by the Mystic River. True trail went out to
Revere Beach Parkway to Wellington Circle and another check. Trail then went
across the Mystic River and into the Ten Hills section of Somerville past
Just Haber's apartment, where we were mixed up by the marks from the Moon
hash of more than a week before. Some of the old marks had been crossed out
(since we were going the opposite way), others had not. We crossed over the
highway (Rt. 28) and lost trail. The FRBs were on the opposite side of the
road religiously following a week old trail, but backwards (go figure). True
trail was found past the shopping center along the river. Geezer Seizure was
with us, but lost as well. She said that all the bridges looked alike to
her, and besides, she was drunk from the scotch in her flask. Un Huh. Yep,
that explained everything.

Anyway, we finally found the beer check in a park by the Amelia Earhart dam.
In addition to beer, we also had scotch, which quickly warmed up the pack.
From the beer check we went along the river to a railroad spur, which lead
out to the very busy commuter rail tracks. Those of us who had lingered were
ushered off the tracks by a rather interesting fellow all dressed in Oakland
Raiders garb, who showed us a hole in the fence (would have been difficult
to get Mr. Peabody to climb a 6 foot chain link fence). The toothless
Raiders fan said he had dogs too (Rottweilers), and was most helpful. From
there, miraculously, it was only a few more blocks to the on in.

The on in:

Puff & Stuff was RA once again, but the pack was large inattentive and
noisy. The bar was also filled with super bowl fans, so it was difficult to
get the circle going. Finally a few comments were elicited from the pack:
"Rehash of the Boston Moon Hash", "My *ss Itches", "Not enough virgins",
"Vaseline is super", "Best hash ever", "Not enough oncoming trains on
trail", "People finally found my trail" (Jizz, regarding the 9 day old marks
that no one could see in the dark the first time). The hares did their down
down. As the circle proceeded, Ski served up the Haggis, for hashers who
were willing to partake. Some said it tasted like meatloaf. I'll have to
take their word on that. This lead the hares to lead us in song, "If the
food tastes like sh*t use Tabasco".

Ambiguously gay Scottish duo (became a trio, since Oozing was also outfitted
in a kilt and tam): Oozing Sphinctersicle, Madame Flutterby. And then all of
team drunk got a down down
Backsliding: Palm Pilot, Ski Bobbitt, Mom’s Cumming, Trail Hoover, Kneeling
Room Only, EverReady Special Edition. And if one hare drinks, they all
drink, also Geezer Seizure and Pondscum
Screwing Up Last Week's Hash Trash: I got a down down
Losing Mutton Drapes - Cream Whora, but he was given a blow up sheep as a
replacement, thus inspiring a chorus of "Bestiality's Best".
Not showing up for last week's team drunk full moon hash (only Puffy was
there): all of team drunk (Pondy, Flutterby, Sphincter, Puffy). Their excuse
was something about s*x before deployment

Visitors: The Jizzmopper (BMH3), plus Flutterby, Kneeling Room Only,
EverReady, Oozing, Sphinctersicle and Bang Cock were given a down down and
sang, some sort of weird song about black hairy *sses.

Shine On was yet again dementoress for the virgins. She ordered them onto
their knees.
Virgin Karen said that Just Betsy made her cum, but she likes the barnyard
Virgin Laura said that Just Betsy also made her cum. When asked her favorite
s*xual position, she answered "woman on top".
Virgin Alex came alone, which is not a problem. But due to the language
barrier (he is Ukrainian), he said that the square root of 69 was 30.
The virgins were given their down down, sang "I don't want to join the army"
(led by Karen and Laura) and were welcomed to the hash.

"I haven't gotten a lot lately" - Ski?
"Anal I love you, Vaseline works" - kilt-clad Madame Flutterby

—- Cums Alone, your humble scribe

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