January 19 2003

Date: Sunday January 19, 2003
Start: Bertucci's at Alewife T Stop, Cambridge
Theme: Tropical - Wear your Hawaiian shirts, shorts, parrots or dress like
Jimmy Buffet, the Aftermath of the Tropical Party Hash
Beer Check: at the site of the previous evening's tropical party
On In: Joe Sent Me, Mass Ave Cambridge
Hares: Hare Club for Q*eers, Master Gator with Pat My Fly driving bag car
Time: 2:00 p.m. HST
Total Distance: maybe 4 miles
Scribe: Cums Alone
Weather: still gd cold, with icy pavement conditions

Hashers Present: Hare Club for Q*eers (hare), Master Gator (hare), Anal
Avenger, Just Bekki, Cream Whora (drove bag car), Cum Prick Pow, Cums Alone
(scribe), Here's Jizz in Your Eye, Hole in the Bucket, Hot for Jizz, Hung
Like a Bean, Impo-tent, Just Jamie (hash 6 or 7), The Jizzmopper, Just
Kristin, Marcus O’Ream My *ss, Just Melissa, Mr. Bean, Pat My Fly, Petting
Officer Sucking *ss, Prom Cream, Puff-n-Stuff, Shank & Wank, Shine On
Harvard Moon, Sh*tty Trail, Skid Mark, Sponge Bath Square Pants, Just
Stephanie, Stuff Me, Sugar Plum Fairy, WinToes69

Late Cummer: Follow My T*ts (Hartford H3 … she actually started late, and
got lost on trail)

Virgins: Elizabeth, Liz, Nicole, and Sarah

Visitors: Little Giraffe (Kuala Lumpur H3 named him, but he's from near
Edinburgh Scotland)

The Start and the Run:

Hashers some hung over, some not, gathered at Bertucci's for the pre-lube.
Trail was being set live (or semi-live in Hare Club's case, given his
hosting a huge party the evening prior). Marks would be the standard. Most
falses would be marked … turkey/eagle blah, blah. Anyway, we were off a
bit after 2:30. Trail went over toward Cambridge to a check … with d*mn
few marks after it. Finally finding trail across the bike path to Davis
Square, we found ourselves (the few, the slow: the turkeys) at route 16. A
turkey/eagle split would have led the eagles into a creek, but in addition
to being fast, the eagles are smart. True trail was the turkey trail, which
veered left onto Mass Ave into Arlington and then disappeared off onto side
streets. We, the turkeys, missed that turn off, and went by the old One
Drunk Walking estate, where WinToes found a theme-appropriate birdcage in
the trash (missing the bird, however). We had lost trail, but in our divine
wisdom, figured that the beer check would likely be at chez Hare Club, since
one keg was not empty by the end of the previous evening. We have no idea
where true trail went, but after seeing Jizz running by us heading toward
Cambridge, it appears that trail must have gone in a giant loop around said
beer check.

Sure enough, the beer check was at Hare Club's place, site of the previous
evening's tropical party. Party it had been. Our feet stuck to the floor due
to spillage … perfect for the beer check, they hadn't cleaned up for us!
How thoughtful. The pack shamed Hare Club's roommate into switching to the
football game on the large TV. The roommate was watching A MOVIE with his
girlfriend when we arrived … after the 10th hasher complained or expressed
shock that he wasn't watching the game, it was finally turned on. There was
still plenty of Sam Adams in the keg on the back porch. It was nice and warm
inside. The birdcage, complete with all the bird's toys, was left for
decoration at Hare Club's. Speaking of whom, several hashers found duct
tape, and taped his legs together so he couldn't lead us away from our most
comfortable football-watching venue. Eventually, however, he escaped, so we
had to finish our beers at half time and run onward to the on-in. Trail was
short … less than a mile to the on in.

The on in:

Puff & Stuff was RA at the on-in at Joe Sent Me. Comments on the run,
included: "Frozen shiggy", "I went between the bushes", "Beautiful Sunset",
"Marathon chalk bag?" etc, etc. I didn't say it, but Any hash that causes
Jizz to lose his voice is a good hash! The hares were given a down down and
sang "Whip it Out at the Ball Game".

Backsliding: Marcus O’Ream My *ss materialized out of thin *ss.
Sweat Test failures: Mr. Bean (he drove to the beer check and on in), Prom
Cream, Cream Whora, and Impotent.
Wearing the wonder clam: Cum Prick Pow (he had to drink beer out of the cups
of the clam shell bra that he'd been wearing
Cheat Sheet for song (the hares) but memory loss is a good thing, as is Jizz
losing his voice
Glare reduction for hare, hat in circle: all hares got to drink

Visitors: The Jizzmopper (Boston Moon Hash), plus Giraffe and Follow My T*ts
were given a down down and sang, "I Used to Work in Chicago".

When the lost virgins finally arrived at the on in, they were being led by
Anal Avenger, thus prompting the following: "The virgins are going Anal, not
Shine On was once again dementoress for the virgins. She ordered them onto
their knees.
Virgin Elizabeth said the she made herself cum (not a bad thing). She likes
the pig, piggy style.
Virgin Liz said that Virgin Nichole made her cum. When asked her favorite
s*xual position, she answered "Who can Choose?" And Shine On said, "You get
to choose, sister". So she said "on top".
Virgin Sarah said that she also made herself cum. When asked what has 2
thumbs and loves oral s*x, she said "Monkey?" Thus leading to discussion
that a name of Hot Monkey S*x would be an option some day?
Virgin Nichole said she also made herself cum. So, of course, she didn't
know the square root of 69 … she said 20.
The virgins were given their down down and are no longer virgins.

"Cranky Jizzmopper needs his nap."
"Oh my god that’s huge!!" - Just Stephanie to Hot for Jizz … regarding
his Canadian cell phone.
"I'm dropping off some power tools" - Cream Whora

Story: Sugar Plum Fairy went up to some civilians (a man and woman, Frenchie
and Mary) who were occupying a booth near the hash. He asked the man "Did
you ever stick your dick in an apple pie?" A horrified Shine On decided she
would, in her words, "smooth the waters". She then asked Frenchie, "Have you
ever cut a hole in the popcorn bucket at the movies and stuck your dick in
it and asked your date if she wanted popcorn?" Turns out they were friends
of Cum Prick Pow (or was it the co-hare, Master Gator? I forget which),

—- Cums Alone, your humble scribe

*Hash Shirts, half price (at the Super Bowl hash, WinToes is supposedly
bringing shirts .. bring a few extra bucks!)

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