January 17 2003

Date: Friday January 17, 2003
Boston Moon's Team Drunk Telethon Hash
Start: Khoury's State Spa, Somerville
Beer Check: next to the Mystic River in the reeds in Medford
On In: Just Haber's apartment
Hares: The Jizzmopper, Just Haber
Time: 6:30 p.m. HST
Total Distance: maybe 3 miles
Scribe: Cums Alone
Weather: very cold and a bit windy, with icy pavement conditions. Dark
despite the full moon

Hashers Present: Just Haber (hare), The Jizzmopper (hare), Cum Prick Pow,
Cums Alone (Scribe), Hare Club for Q*eers, Impo-tent (drove bag car), Just
Melissa, Mr. Bean, Mr. Rodgers, Muffalotta, Puff-n-Stuff, Just Rene (2
hashes), Shine On Harvard Moon, Ski Bobbitt, Sponge Bath Square Pants, Just
Stacy (2 hashes), Just Stephanie, WinToes69

Late Cummers: Rectal

On after late cummers: One Drunk Walking, Deep Throat

Virgins: Bekki, Heather, Kendall, Phaly

Visitors: everyone except Jizz, the only Boston Moon Hasher

The Start and the Run:
This hash was hared live by Jizz and Just Haber. WinToes was left to explain
marks to the pack. Most importantly, 3 would be on. Not all falses would be
marked, however.

The good news about running in the dark in East Somerville: the scenery
looks better. The pack took off down Broadway toward Somerville central. At
Rt. 28 there was a Turkey/Eagle split. Those who were wise took to the
turkey trail. It was very very cold. The pack sort of lost trail while going
through a park. Partially this was because we were carefully watching where
we stepped (there was a dusting of snow that concealed glare ice, so it was
treacherous). We emerged at the far side of the park, went under route 93
and took a left at an arrow. But we didn't find any marks after that (Hong
Kong Spewey called me to find out where we were … told her I had
absolutely no idea, she could hear us yelling to each other in total
confusion. She said it felt as if she were on trail with us). Oh, did I
forget to mention the hares were using blue flour and blue chalk? Somehow,
that didn't show up well in the moonlight. Sure enough, we missed a right
turn. Then we missed another right turn, but the arrow was off to the left,
cumming down a hill off a side street. Hmmm, a little confusing? We
eventually divined a trail going across the bridge on Rt. 28 over the Mystic
River. Then we lost trail again, as it was quite dark on the far side of
the bridge, with plenty of ice to stumble on, as well. Finally, we heard
Jizz yelling at us as we had decided to re-cross the bridge back to
Somerville. Sure enough, across a hidden footbridge amongst the reeds along
the river, was the beer check. The reeds provided scant shelter from the
cold wind, so the turkeys drank little but fast. After a brew or two we
noticed that the eagles had not landed, we beat them to the beer check.
Sponge Bath Square Pants, Hare Club, along with Ski Bobbitt and Mr. Rodgers
were missing (Ski, an eagle?? Talk about full moon weirdness!).

Rather than make us count marks back from the beer check, Jizz took pity on
the turkeys, and told us to cross back over the bridge and look for a
stairway on the right, and the on-in would be 20 yards from the stairs. Good
thing! When we got to the top of the stairs, the pack again had lost trail.
True trail mark pointing directly at the on-in notwithstanding, the pack did
not see the blue on-in written on the sidewalk in front of the house. We
checked very carefully, and sure enough there was the writing, faint and
washed out by the moonlight (we added some additional comments that were
much more visible). Meanwhile, Jizz found the missing eagles, and directed
them back to the on-in.

The on in:

Puff & Stuff was RA. He asked Sponge Bath to demonstrate the art of the
down down for the virgins.
Then there were a few comments on the run, including: "Not enough blue", "I
didn't see trail", "Trail, what trail?", "The length of the chalk was the
length of my dick" (Ski). The run was fingernanimous (middle fingers up down
and sideways). The hares were given a down down and since Just Haber
screwed it up, they got a second one. Then they sang the "My Girl's a
Hasher" song.

Since everyone but Jizz is a visitor to the Boston Moon Hash (it is his very
own hash, and he is the only hasher), it was decided that Jizz should do a
down down instead. And since if one hare drinks they all drink, Just Haber
got a down down as well.

Boston Moon Virgins: WinToes, Ski Bobbitt, Shine On, Just Rene, Just Stacy
and Mr. Rodgers were given a down down to welcome them to the Full Moon
Hash. They sang that uplifting and original song "When It's Hog Calling Time
in Nebraska".

Shine On was dementoress for the virgins. She ordered them onto their knees.
Virgin Bekki said that Sponge Bath made her cum, but she likes the barnyard
Virgin Phaly said that Sponge Bath made her cum too, and she likes it doggie
Virgin Heather said that Just Rene and Just Stacy made her cum, but she
didn't know the square root of 69.
Virgin Kendall said that Just Rene and Just Stacy made her cum too (wow!).
She was surprised when asked what has 2 thumbs and loves oral s*x, and Shine
On pointed to herself.
The virgins were given their down down and are virgins no more.

Hashit was awarded to WinToes from the previous holder, Sponge Bath, since
WinToes walked the turkey trail and didn't perspire enough (so he now has
the sweaty shirt). He was given a special down down, a Guinness in a
champagne flute (Puffy did the down down for WinToes, since WinToes does not
drink beer).

During and after the circle some inspiration hit the hash. Just Stacy came
up with this one for Ski Bobbitt. Ski will also be known as "Mediocre S*x
Without Attachments". Actually, that is an improvement for him (over no s*x)
Just Rene has a fixation with queefing. She asked Shine On to tell her what
it meant. Shine On promptly answered "Pussy Fart", which resulted in a name
for Just Rene. Note also that she may be called "Queen LaQueefa" for short.

We did "Swing Low" and then had some pizza and continued to consume all the
available liquid refreshments in Just Haber's apartment. The hash was given
a 10 p.m. curfew at the on-in. Actually, Just Haber said his landlord
upstairs had given it to him, but I really think he didn't want us to drink
every beer in the house. So a goodly percentage of the pack left with
minutes to spare to catch a bus back to the Sullivan Square T stop, which
they missed, so most of them walked the mile plus. Then it was on on to
Sullivan's Tap at North Station, which was to be the first stop on a pub
crawl, except that no one felt like walking around in the cold, so everyone
stayed at Sully's.

Quotes (a number of good ones):
"I prefer Busch" - Puff-n-Stuff
"His tool is bigger than my tool" - I believe this was between Mr. Rodgers
and Mr. Bean, but I could be wrong
"We were cold because we didn't have muff." - Virgins Phaly and Bekki
"My p*nis is the same color as my feet." - Mr. Bean, whose cold feet were
bluish purple (he also claimed it was the same size, but no one wanted
"You know you haven't been hashing long when you're still talking to
Jizz." - Rectal to Just Stephanie
"Is there a cover charge?" - Impo-Tent, regarding Sullivan's Tap (this
caused much laughter

—- Cums Alone, your humble scribe

*Jay Peak skiing: BOMBASH (Boston Ottawa Montreal Burlington Area Ski Hash)
at Jay Peak, VT 1/31 - 2/2/03. Over 71 trails open with fresh snow! Jay
Peak receives the most natural snowfall in the Eastern US. Plenty of
downhill skiing, snowboarding, cross-country skiing, snowmobile rentals,
sleigh rides, ice-skating, sledding, etc. (use your imagination). $50
deposit due ASAP to me. You can email me to register at

*Hash Shirts, half price (at some future hash when WinToes gets around to
it, so cum to every hash and bring a few extra bucks!)

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