January 12 2003

Date: Sunday January 12, 2003
Start: Punter's Pub, Huntington Ave. Boston
Theme: no theme
Beer Check: next to the Muddy River at the end of Newbury St.
On In: the ever-popular Beacon Hill Pub
Hares: Cums Alone, Stuff Me, with Cream Whora driving bag car
Time: 2:00 p.m. HST
Total Distance: probably 4 miles, except for the 2 hashers who got lost
Scribe: Cums Alone
Weather: still cold, with icy pavement conditions

Hashers Present: Cums Alone (hare & Scribe), Stuff Me (hare), Biker Chick, Cream Whora (drove bag car), Cum Prick Pow, Dribbles, Grease My Monkey’s Nuts, Just Jamie (hash 5), Just Jim, The Jizzmopper, Limp Weiner, Just Lauge (hash 2 or 3?), Master Gator, Just Melissa, One Drunk Walking, Pat My Fly, Puff-n-Stuff, Shine On Harvard Moon, Snoreplay, Just Stephanie, Sugar Plum Fairy, Virginia Slim, Just William (hash 2), WinToes69

Primo Backslider: Shank & Wank!!! (but he brought a virgin to redeem himself)
Late Cummer: Impo-tent, Prom Cream
Virgins: Kristin, Rene, Stacy, David, Erika
Visitors: none, unless you count Jizz, as he is the Boston Moon Hash

The Start and the Run
Hashers gathered for a prelube inside Punter's Pub. At 2:15 only a handful
were present, and the hares were getting nervous. We had gone to the effort
to set a Braille trail (a good number of marks), and were hoping that we'd
have a decent turnout. We also had half-price leftover Christmas candy along
with half-decent beer (Labatt's Blue and Coors) for the beer check.

We finally achieved a critical mass around 2:30-ish (about when game 1 was
pretty much a done deal, with the lopsided score), and circled up outside. I
explained that we were going to run the pack where the sun don’t shine, but
they didn't want to hear too much information … the pack preferred a
surprise or two. Anyway, the usual marks … 3 would be on, one beer check,
a turkey/eaglet split (not a full blown eagle trail, except for Just Jamie
and Grease My Monkey's Nuts, who ran far off the eaglet trail).

Anyway, the pack took off, and Pat My Fly got lost by checking a nonexistent
false trail inbound on Huntington Ave (he eventually found trail). True
trail went the other way in front of the Museum of Fine Arts, and went left
toward the fens. Another check behind the MFA had a false past a
rhinoceros, but true trail crossed the road into the park, where the
sidewalk was glare ice. Trees had been marked with blue flour in this one
small area, which did slightly confuse the pack, as they had not listened to
the instruction to look up for flour. Trail went past the Linwood, across
Brookline Ave. past Fenway Park, through the parking lot next to
Puff-n-Stuff's up to Beacon Street and behind P.J. Kilroy's and over to the
BU campus on Comm. Ave. There, was the turkey/eaglet split. The eaglet
trail went west on Comm. Ave. and across the BU Bridge. Unfortunately, the
orange chalk was not clear enough for the FRBs, so most of them initially
missed the left turn to the far side of the BU Bridge, and then back across
the bridge on the far side (this was done deliberately, in hopes that The
Jizzmopper would be lead FRB and the rest of the FRBs would see him cuming
back on the far side!). Anyway, this didn't exactly work as hoped, so most
of the FRBs went straight off the Cambridge side of the bridge. All but
Grease My Monkey's Nuts and Just Jamie figured out that they should return
to the last mark, and returned to trail (Just Jamie had suggested that GMMN
do the same, but he didn't, at least he knew to call the hotline).

Anyhow, true trail for the eaglets lead back to the turkey/eaglet split and
onto the turkey trail. TT went past the Dugout straight down Comm. Ave. to
Kenmore Square and over to the Muddy River. There at the end of fashionable
Newbury Street, in a park frequented by the homeless, was the beer check.
Although there was some shelter provided by the overpass, it was still too
windy and cold for a lengthy beer check, so the pack took off down Newbury
Street. True trail went a few blocks down Newbury, then over to the Comm.
Ave. esplanade, and then cut back over to an alley that ran under part of
the Ritz. Then it was across part of the frozen Public Garden and down
lovely Brimmer Street in Beacon Hill to emerge finally at the on-in, the
Beacon Hill Pub.

The on in:

Puff & Stuff was RA. There were a few comments on the run, but most were
favorable. The hares were given a down down and sang the S & M Man, thus
ensuring a short song.

Backsliding: Shank & Wank (I don't believe he has hashed in at least a
couple years, yet he came with a virgin!)
Sweat Test failures: Impo-tent, Prom Cream

Shine On was once again dementoress for the virgins. She ordered them onto
their knees.
Virgin Stacy said the Just Stephanie made her cum. She likes it doggie
Virgin Erika said that Just Melissa made her cum. She likes the barnyard
Virgin Dave said that Shank & Wank made him cum. Virgin Dave said that S & W
pulled him out of bed to go to the hash. So, of course, he said yes,
absolutely, he would get off the bus load of poofters (not that there's
anything wrong with that).
Virgin Kristin made herself cum (not that there's anything wrong with
that!). When asked what has 2 thumbs and loves oral s*x, Shine On said
herself, but Kristin said she did too.
Virgin Rene said that both Stephanie and Melissa made her cum (the pack
wants photos). She said that the square root of 69 was 13 (wrong).
The virgins were given their ceremonial down down and are virgins no more.

Just Jamie is due for a name. She has yet to do something really stupid at
the hash, and so has remained under the radar screen. She teaches high
school history (in Needham?), that's all we could get to work with (that and
her quote below about parking). She was not named. She was not named any of
the following: "Paid for Porking", "Hot for Teacher", "Goodbye Mr. T*ts",
"Need Him, Don't Even Want Him", "Can I Sharpen Your Pencil?", "Monthly
Porking", "Tw*t for Teacher", nor "Brother Blows Best" (she says her
underage brother has the best dirt on her). So we will name her next week,
or the week after (since she may skip the next hash).

"We're Good at this!" - Virgin Rene, when ordered onto her knees
"Oh My God, you're great!" - Just Stacy to Sugar Plum Fairy
"I'll have to sell myself on a street corner to pay for parking." - Just
Jamie (who made the mistake of parking in the MFA garage - $22! Fortunately,
the bag car was going to move, so we made her move the car)
"Was Your Unit Mobilized?" - Puffy asking Flutterby (we called him from the

—- Cums Alone, your humble scribe

*Jay Peak skiing: BOMBASH (Boston Ottawa Montreal Burlington Area Ski Hash)
at Jay Peak, VT 1/31 - 2/2/03. Over 71 trails open with fresh snow! Jay
Peak receives the most natural snowfall in the Eastern US. Plenty of
downhill skiing, snowboarding, cross-country skiing, snowmobile rentals,
sleigh rides, ice-skating, sledding, etc. (use your imagination). $50
deposit due ASAP to me. You can email me to register at

*Hash Shirts, half price (at some future hash when WinToes gets around to
it, so cum to every hash and bring a few extra bucks!)

*The Team Drunk Telethon Hash, this Friday, January 17th. Khoury's State
Spa, 118 Broadway, East Somerville Hash Cash: $5 (pay as you go for on-after
bars), Time: 6:30 pm Hash Standard Time

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