Date: February 3rd, 2008, 1pm HST
Pseudo-Hare: Pick-Up hash orchestrated by NAMBLA
Actual Hares: Taj My Hole, Virgin Dimitri (?), Headmaster, The Jizzmopper, High Anus
Delinquent Hares: Cuffy, Chocolate Starfish
Bag Car: Spunk In the Trunk
Pre-Lube: Kinsale Pub
Beer Check: Copley Square
On-In:Beacon Hill Pub
Distance: 4 miles
Weather: 40-50 degrees F, unseasonably warm
Scribe: DEEP Black Hole
The Pack: Floppy Dick, Goes Down On Buoys, Taj My Hole, Nipples Erectus, Bleeps
Sweeps & Creeps, Virgin Dimitri, Just Matt (Or Dog), Virgin Amanda, Friar Fuck,
Jolly Green Vagina, Cocktologist, Anal Beads, Just Johanna, Catheter the Great,
Peppermint Pussy, High Anus, Dirty Latte Sanchez, General Ass Pounder, Dribbles,
Stick It To The Bros, You Oughta Blow, My Chemical Homance, Krusty the Meat
Miser, Drippy Spigot, The Jizzmopper, Stinky Digit, Wang Chunks, Headmaster
Visitors: Two Drinks Away From My Sister (Austin), Butt Sucker (St. Louis)
Late Cummers: Cums Alone, Schindler's Fist
Introduction:
Sure, Cuffy gets the hash all excited and then doesn't cum visit. It was very
sad. But NAMBLA picked up the pieces of himself and orchestrated a pick-up hash
not to be soon forgotten, mostly because of its f*ckedupedness.
Trail:
At chalk talk, NAMBLA whipped out some straws he had stolen from some kids with
smoothies. A few hashers drew straws, with the shortest straw going to the
first hare of the pick up hash, Taj My Hole. The pack gave Taj a 3.69 minute
head start, which was worthless, as we saw him running across Government center
quite clearly.
Trail continued past Government center, and up a hill heading towards the common
when Taj was "snared" by Virgin Dimitri. I don't know how many virgins also
have their virgin hare at the same time, but this was the case. Virgin Dimitri
lead us up more hills (probably Beacon Hill) past some pseudo-monument, then
past the common into Downtown Crossing. Trail continued to meander along
Washington Street then cut right (ooooh directions!) towards and through the
Common. In the middle of the common I saw a mark indicating that Headmaster had
become hare. He led us over to the Public Gardens and close to the walkway
leading to the esplinade, but not over. At this point, the pack condensed and
tried to figure out where the hell the trail went. There was much grumbling
about there needing to be a beercheck, which at the time was mobile in the form
of Jolly Green Vagina's backpack (he was also doing trail). Finally, the pack
picked up on trail, which lead
through the crazy park area of Comm Ave and into Copley Square.
The beer check consisted of good conversation, somewhat funny quotes (see
below), Baileys chocolates courtesy of GAP, and I think Whiskey and Yeager.
Nothing like drinking in the middle of Copley out of small dixie cups on a
Sunday afternoon.
JMo had been the first to arrive at Copley, where Headmaster had been waiting
wondering where everyone was. JMo laid trail through Back Bay and up onto the
Esplinade, going in the opposite direction of the On-In (Beacon Hill Pub) which
everyone knew. Some of the pack decided they'd had enough and went there
directly, while some followed trail. At some point it's possible that High Anus
was hare (who knows?) but eventually trail crossed over on longfellow and
beelined to Beacon Hill Pub. Or at least I did.
Circle:
Wang Chunks was our RA for the evening. The pizza arrived pretty much right
when circle started, but luckily the long circle didn't chill it off too much.
Our hares (see above) were called into the circle. Floppy Dick was substitute
Cuffy for the evening. They sang Cuffy's favorite song since he wasn't there
("Hog Calling Time") and did their down-downs.
Next, our THREE dementor/dementresses (Floppy Dick, Catheter the Great,
Peppermint Pussy) brought in our two virgins, Virgin Amanda and Virgin Dimitri.
Two Drinks Away From My Sister (From Austin) made Virgin Amanda cum. Virgin
Amanda would get off on a Lesbian Bus and thinks that banana blow jobs are
delicious. Floppy Dick made Virgin Dimitri cum. Apparently Virgin Dimitri is
bad at math - he said the square root of 69 was 9.9. But, virgin Dimitri likes
bananas a lot (he ate one, stole one, and went down on one), and his favorite
position is "Brokeback Mountain." The virgins did their down-downs and were
welcomed into the hash - welcome Just Amanda and Just Dimitri.
NAMBLA was accused of being a fake Cuffy, and when one hare drinks, all hares
drink.
Our visitors, Butt Sucker and Two Drinks Away From My Sister (TDAFMS) were
brought into the circle. Two Drinks showed a body part to the hash, while Butt
Sucker sang the song "Twenty Toes" to his and Two Drinks' down-down.
Just Matt/GOD/Dog was welcomed into the circle as an Atlanta Transplant. Just
Matt was wearing a t-shirt that said "GOD" but the hash is dyslexic so they
started calling him "Just Dog" However, there wasn't an official naming, but
Just Dog was sung "It's a small dick" and he sang for the hash "Zulu Warrior."
Just Johanna was well overdue for a naming. And the hash took a very long time
trying to name her. Wang Chunks almost threw her back a few times
(wait…that's usual). Both Spunk in the Trunk and Krusty the Meat Miser told
stories about Just Johanna in college, involving apples, titties, and wild
parties on African Safaris. Finally, Peppermint Pussy told a story about how
Just Johanna actually fell asleep while watching the Harvard Square live action
Rocky Horror Picture Show performance (that's a drinkable offense!). Just
Johanna was not named about 20 names, including Apple Titties, Spanks for the
Mamories, Shave my Tits, or Sleeping Booty. Instead, Just Johanna was
hash-named Clit Van Winkle. Welcome to the hash Clit Van Winkle!
Accusations were next. A short list:
Same Shirt: NAMBLA, DEEP Black Hole
Auto Hashing: Wang Chunks
Eagles Fan: Goes Down on Buoys
Jeans: Jolly Green Vagina, Wang Chunks, Schindler's Fist
Now, the more interesting accusations. Wang Chunks and Krusty were accused of
dressing up as transvestites in the past 24 hours (which was true), and all
Rocky Horror Picture Show virgins were also invited into the circle for a
post-Rocky/hash convention down-down. Wang Chunks was brought back into the
circle for letting the pizza get cold during circle. Drippy was accused of
being FBI and You Oughta Blow was accused of being FRB (there was some gender
confusion issues after the transvestite accusation). All hashers wearing any
kind of variant on a hash subway shirt (which included GAP, High Anus, and
visitor Butt Sucker) did down-downs.
Somehow, Floppy accused all people of having pony tails of having done ponies,
and thus a whole heap of hashers (mostly women and Floppy) were brought into the
circle for down-downs. Accusations began to get outrageous - there was a Lando
Casinirici (Star Wars) down-down for Stick It To the Bros and Anal Beads. At
this point, there was a Chinese fire drill.
Wang Chunks took this opportunity to randomly point at hashers (Clit Van Winkle,
Friar Fuck, Dribbles, Anal Beads, Cocktologist, Stick It To the Bros) for
down-downs because the hash is a dictatorship dammit. Floppy was accused of
being a Racist. When one pony-tail guy drinks, all bald guys drink (?) so Jolly
Green Vagina, Taj My Hole, and V. Dimitri (who isn't actually bald) did
down-downs.Because the hash was all about physical differences at this point,
all hashers with Goatees (Not with Goat Throat) drank (GAP, Jolly Green Vagina,
Krusty, Taj, Just Dog/Matt, Stick It To the Bros).
Goes Down on Buoys was accused of being very 1980s like by wearing a backwards
cap. This propagated to all children of the 80s drinking with Buoys, which
again seemed to consist of mostly women, including Catheter the Great, You
Oughta Blow, Myself, Peppermint Pussy, and Spunk In the Trunk. Hot hash women
were born in the 80s (and the 70s and the 60s and…)
Headmaster was accused of getting a haircut. This is false, but he did a
down-down anyway. Floppy Dick joined him for getting a new hairdo (true), and
Just Dog/Matt had to drink because all people who look like or are wearing
God-like or Jesus-like outfits should drink together.
Bleeps drank for something having to do with pubes. Don't ask.
Spunk, DEEP Black Hole, and Taj drank for being overachieving in drinking all
the hash beer. Also, somebody wrote in my notebook that I'm a sexy scribe.
I think we swung low at that point. Don't blame me for hash trash not making
sense at the end. Blame Just God or the RA.
Announcements:
Cumbridge Hash House Harriers are having a hash sometime soon! Krusty couldn't
remember exactly when because he was too busy playing the part of the Hash's
Frank 'n Furter.
Sign up for Marathon weekend: The price is now $45! http://www.bostonha
sh.com/marathon0 8/
Mismanagement meet is this Wednesday at 7:30 pm at Khory's Pub. All are
welcome.
Quotes:
- "I'm going to eat it if it's too long" - Taj My Hole
- "I like cupcakes better than you right now - you need to change that!" - You Oughta Blow
- "Harder!" -Drippy
- "Shorn's all Black" - Anal Beads
- "You could have fooled me" - Stick It To The Bros.
