February 2 2003

Date: Sunday, February 2nd, 2003
Start: Kinsale, Government Center
Theme: Groundhog Day
Beer Check: Inside pine trees on little landscaped island in front of
"EF" building near Lechmere
On In: Everybodys favorite Beacon Hill Pub
Hares: Palm Pilot, Swells Like Torn Anus, Impo-tent (bag car)
Time: 2:30 Pm HST + approx. 7min. cranium start (=live trail)
Total Distance: At least 4 mi.
Scribe: One Drunk Walking
Weather: 33 degrees and slushing - relatively warm!
Hounds: The JizzMopper, Hot 4 Jizz, Dried Semen (sp?), Puff N Stuff,
Shine On Harvard Moon, Just Jim, Old Drunk Walking
Late Cummers: Wintoes 69, Sugar Plum Fairy, Menage a Tw@t, An@l
Avenger! (claims he ran the trail??)
Virgins: Nope
Visitors: Uh-uh
Visiting Virgins: Not even close

Note: In a surprise manoeuvre, I left the on in very early, so I cant
describe any events what took place after 6:15… was there an orgy??

Note II: This may turn out to be Bostons smallest pack of the millennium,
for those who keep track of such statistics…

Start/Trail:
I arrived at the pre-lube spot just as the hares were getting
started. There was a YBF combined with a large circle jerk around a
building. Things were slightly confusing here… we seemed to have looked
almost everywhere for true trail with no success. Then trail began to go
toward Faneuil Hall, where I got leid next to a mailbox (found a nice pink
one just sitting there). This was the point where the pack began to split
into two halves: The smart half (3 members of the newly formed Crack House
Harriers + Just Jim) who stayed on trail + the not so smart half (the other
3) who wasted a bunch of valuable drinking time getting lost in the North
End.
But before CH2 and Just Jim lost the other three, there was a
very silly sight when all of us interpreted a curvy true trail arrow inside
the Aquarium T-stop to mean we were supposed to run up and down stairs ad
infinitum. I recall that Shine On was the only hasher not fooled by this
trick. Trail went over more than one bridge and there was a nice musical
bell check after we crossed the locks (very familiar from last summers boat
ride hash).

Beer Check:
Eventually, after managing to find every solitary "False" mark
there was, the fearless foursome crossed one more bridge from Charlestown
over to the beer check. Im happy to say that I got there first with Puffy,
Shine On and Just Jim only seconds behind. There was a CD boombox playing
hash songs and a 30 pack of Red Dog. I wonder what happens to all that
extra beer… sometimes its good to have a small pack, eh Palmy? No, Im
sure it gets kept in a locked safe until next week…

On In/Circle:
The fun began with "And The Hares", with Puffy vs. An@l as dual
RAs (Puffy trying to get things rolling, AA! continuing the song). Comments
on the run included "Negative 6.9" (Shine On), "I liked it" (Menage A Tw@t)
and Wintoes throwing down the gauntlet. We raised our longest fingers for
the hares. Punxsatawney Phil Jr. (=Palm Pilots Penis) failed to see his
shadow this year -
(incidentally, Phil is a really good name for a penis, if you
are so inclined. On a bike trip I did when I was 15 "Phil" was the code
word for "penis", after a particularly bratty kid who was biking with us.
So on further reflection, Phil being a homonym for Fill, if I wanted to name
mine (I dont) Id probably name it Phil. Just a little peek inside the
hideous clockwork of ODWs mind…)
"Why Are We Waiting" for the hares song? Dried Semen was
accused of hashus interruptus. His excuse was that he was "too drunk to
hash", and he pointed at his "Kiss Me Im Drunk" T-shirt for emphasis. We
sung "Pain in the Assh*le" for him, and he sang "My Girls a Vegetable" for
us.
Shine On announced the passing of Zippy the Cyberpimp from
Colorado, of skin cancer on 1/29. Zippy founded the Fat Boy Athletic Club
whose motto is "Never Leave Camp" (possible CH2 mottos include "Smoke it if
you got it" and "Its always 4:20 somewhere"). "He was a monumental hasher",
said Shine On and Jizz said "Heres to Ziggy" after a brief moment of
silence. Rest in Peace, Zippy, well miss you!
Impo-tent, Puffy, Shine On and myself were accused of
autohashing from the beer check. My excuse is that I needed to serve as
Impo-tents seat cushion while she navigated and provided me with a human
airbag ("think unsexy thoughts", etc…). AA!, Wintoes, SPF and Menage all
failed the sweat test. TJM got 3 down downs in rapid succession - one for
whining on the hotline, one for visiting from the Boston Moon hash, and a
third for doing a 17mi. training run before the hash.
We sang "Swing Low" with the scooby doo, men + womens, and
superman versions. A $5 indoor post-hash hash was hared by An@l immediately
following this.

Announcement the First:
Speed Dating at Barking Crab tommorow night (2/6) featuring
free women and lots of drinks (or vice versa). Contact TJM for details.

Announcement the Second:
Free pool at Jillians Friday night. Contact Wintoes.

Announcement the Third:
If you go to the much-announced planning meeting tonight you
can do hash-related activites three days in a row w/o running at all!

On On,
One Drunk Walking

"Before I did drugs I had all sorts of problems - now I only
have one." - Cecil B. Demented

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