December 11, 2001 - BH3 Holiday Party

My dress is off … to the cleaners (with notation that it was soaked in beer) … it was a good party! Let's see, I wasn't planning to do a write up, so here is a brief summary of the evening.

It would be much easier to list those who were missing from the party, than to list those in attendance. We had over 63 Boston hashers. A good contingent of Newport hashers actually (finally) left the island for off-island festivities: Floreplay, Little Debbie, Mary Kay, Nipolean, STD and Double Flush. Surfin Compus*x was in from Connecticut. We also had Dances With Spam, of the Jersey Gypsies visiting.

Among the "regulars" who were missing were Deposits in the Rear, ER, Fudgesuckle, Hex a Peel, Hot for Jizz, Limp Wiener (she wouldn't have been allowed inside, tho), Mom's Cumming, Pat My Fly, Rigor More Dick, The Fat One, Sweet Molasses and Who's Ron Jeremy. Everyone else and a lot more (friends, dates, significant others, lurkers, yet to be named hashers) were present.

Among serious Boston Backsliders who appeared for this function were: Cabana Boy, Golden Showers, Monastery Position, Piss Stop, Rodent Feltcher, Squirrel Dick.

The International had given us a corner of the downstairs, and moved out one of the pool tables, as well. The place was packed with non-hashers in the remainder of the downstairs. We were charming and amused the non-hashers. The $2.25 Sam Adams did not run out all evening. The International was not terribly quick to turn off the music during the Yankee Swap. The Yankee swap had the usual assortment of porn, s*xual items and beer. It was notable that Lube Me In's stolen mug was one of the swap gifts … As Lubie had a high number, 89, he was able to reconnect with his beloved mug.

We did hash awards later in the evening after the Swap, when the music was finally turned down and after the appetizers ran out. Rectal and I got lifetime achievement awards (I thought those only went to people who were suffering from terminal illnesses?? Or maybe it's mental illness??). The best hash of the year ("You Don't Know Jack about Dick") went to One Drunk Walking and Piss Stop. The worst hash of the year went to The Jizzmopper (assisted by Cock-aholic) for the July 4th hash (not enough beer at the beer check, and the planned on-in was closed). The Hash Incarceration award went to One Drunk Walking. Best on-in food went to Deep Throat. Best Hash name winners: best male winner F*cking Annoying, and best female winner FreeC*nt Flyer. Worst Hash name winners: It's a Free C*nt and Pencil Dick.

One of the Yankee Swap gifts was a package of those little glow sticks… this started a pass the glow stick party. Some of those present got very involved in this activity. There was the usual tongue action, and lots of groping. Stuff Me even swallowed her tongue ring. There was some flashing and mooning and the usual opportunity to see Palm Pilot’s privates.

I got my butt grabbed a number of times (at least once by a non-hasher, who must have seen a hasher grab me). That was not unusual for the hash. What was weird was running into a former boyfriend, who was at the party upstairs at the International. That party was the one that resulted in the trashed bathrooms. They had an open bar, for $35 per person … there were broken beer bottles all over the ladies room by the end of the evening, the men's room was reportedly in similar condition (we were drinking the endless keg of Sam).

Several hashers were a bit wobbly by the end of the evening, due to the supply of reasonably priced Sam Adams. Pencil Dick took on a passing car with 5 drunken guys in it. They jumped from the car and one of them threatened his roommate, Jesse, with the warning: "I will eat you!" Now, what's with that?

The quote of the evening (and believe me, there could have been many) has to be the following:

"I can't believe I touched his pee pee." —- Friar F regarding touching Palm Pilot's privates, by mistake … Friar swears it looked like something else. Palm Pilot says he didn't really touch it … that Friar touched his balls. Uh, yeah, sure.

I suppose the best/worst question of the evening would have to be "What's a clitoris?", which was posed by Pencil Dick, the medical illustrator. What is the world cumming to? Or not cumming to? Oh well.

Cums Alone, BH3 Scribe

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