August 6th, 2008 - Al Gore Goes Green in Allston

WHEN: Wednesday, 8/6/08, 6:30 pm HST
WHERE: Silhouette Lounge, an A to A run
HARES: High Anus, Just Aileen, Floppy Dick
FUN BAG WATCHER: Seizure Salad
BEER CHECKS: 1 BC, two shot checks … a number of hashers didn't find all 3
WEATHER: a warm summer evening
VIRGINS: Scott, Justin, Alex

HASHERS PRESENT

(in addition to the hares, and yes, I most likely missed a few names): Beaten By a Girl, Bend Over Mommy, Bis*xual Bondage B*tch, Catheter the Great, Corn on the Cock, Dirty Latte Sanchez, Dude Where's My Virginity, Fire in the Hole, Friar F*ck, Gay Pride, GAP's Anal Defense, Goes Down on Buoys, Hair Club for Queers, Headmaster, His Cox In, Magic Carpet Ride, Menopause is Awesome, Merkin Muncher, Moaning Lisa, Placentos the Freshmaker, Public Rectum, Pubic Service Announcement, SATRAC, Shindler's Fist, Shorn Scrotum, Seizure Salad, Ski Bobbitt, Spoon Full of Seamen, Spunk in the Trunk, Stick it to the Bros, Sucks & Spews (from Baghdad), Taj My Hole, Tanya Hardon, Velvet Pelvis, Wanna Shag, and Cums Alone (me)

"JUST" HASHERS

Just Bert, Just Dan, Just Dan (2), Just Dave, Just Deeley (or Monthly Cycle, as she was named at the Moon Hash), Just Kelly, Just Wesley, Just Zoey, Just Taj

THE START & THE RUN

In a departure from my usual place, walking at the back of the pack, I decided to help Seizure Salad "guard bags". This actually entailed drinking beer at the Swillo, instead of trying to follow a trail in the dark. It also had civic-minded elements, as it did require keeping an eye on the pack's worldly belongings in a bar full of potential miscreants. It probably was wise to have two hashers watch bags, since one would keep the other from rifling through the bags (mostly to answer ringing cell phones, but who knows what possible treats were hidden in that mound of backpacks and briefcases). Also, given the beer consumption, both Seizure Salad and I needed to take bathroom breaks.

The pack gathered at the Swillo, in preparation for the "green" Al Gore run. There were at least 50 hashers, and I tried to get names for all (but I know I missed at least a few). We circled up outside, and were cause of some consternation at the adjacent nail salon. Not sure if they called the cops, but before the pack finished introductions, Boston's finest arrived in a squad car. Velvet Pelvis apparently smooth talked his way through it, and the police left to pursue more interesting potential criminal activity.

Description of trail is based on interviews conducted by the scribe of returning hashers. Some returned sooner than others, having become discouraged by the dearth of marks on trail. One reason was there was a check back overlapping an earlier part of trail (or was it vice versa?) that led some of the pack back to A. A number of hashers got lost somewhere near the Doubletree along Storrow Drive. An early quote: "Lost, lost, lost … lost on trail."

Some hashers in a desperation move made their own beer check at the Avenue, or maybe it was the White Horse (ID was needed at the door). Some other hashers complained about needing ID on trail, of course the hares knew nothing about this breakaway move by the thirsty pack. Some hashers complained about not finding the last beer check, but it was the shot check they missed, along with the pack devised second BC.

The beer check was reportedly somewhere near the Mass Pike and Storrow Drive. There was a shot check in some odd little neighborhood park not far from the footbridge that goes across the Mass Pike. The pack apparently got split up and went in different directions.

MORE QUOTES

  1. "One of the worst, shitty trail" "The Shot check was fun." "I have no idea, I never found the beer check, and all I saw was railroad tracks." GAP's Anal Defense claimed to have found a body on trail.
  2. "I don't know about the last part (of trail), I bagged it." - Friar Fuck.
  3. "It could have used more marks, they were too far apart." - Virgin Alex.
  4. "Too damn confusing." - Tanya Hardon
  5. "It was okay, a good it if the idea was to get us lost. I had to back track 20 minutes."
  6. "Don't follow Spunk, ever."
  7. "The usual messed up trail."
  8. "Trail Sucked."
  9. "There was no beer check or shot check."
  10. "I think we should do shots." Sucks and Spews.
  11. "I'm all over that.” - Monthly Cycle

And all these quotes were prior to the start of the circle!

THE CIRCLE

There was a cry of "Make Floppy drink water, and I'll be happy!" (Dude, Where's my Virginity). Taj My Hole was proxy hare for High Anus, who had apparently run away (not really, he went to get pizza). Velvet Pelvis as RA, attempted to avoid a lynching of the hares. Comments on the run included: "I saw a mark!" "9.5 check back to no where." "I'd rather be ass wiped than run trail." (Gay Pride) "What was with the garden nazi at the first BC?" The trail was thumbnanimous (actually it was middle finger unanimous). The hares sang, "I used to work in Chicago."

Visitors: Sucks and Spews from Baghdad, and returning Corn on the Cock from Austin, were welcomed to the hash. Dan and Dave tried to claim they were visitors since they are returning to Ft. Wayne and Evansville, but they were booted out.

Virgins. Floppy was dementor for the virgins.

Virgin Scott admitted that he made himself cum. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Some offered to help him with that problem.

Virgin Alex said Gay Pride made him cum … what a shock.

Virgin Justin said Sucks and Spews made him cum … I believe he faked an org*sm.

The sponsors demonstrated a down down, and then the virgins had to repeat the move. The virgins were welcomed to the hash and are virgins no more.

ACCUSATIONS

  1. Backsliding: Ski Bobbitt (he thought he'd hashed, but he forgot), Gap's Anal Defense, Just Kelly, Just Bert (excuse: m*sterbating), Wanna Shag, Tanya Hardon (she’s homeless), and me (Cums Alone … no excuse)
  2. Last Boston Hash: Just Dave, and Just Dan (I have a note about it really being about butt s*x together, and that there are no women where they're going, and getting to third base, and prison .. but my notes are a bit scribbled).
  3. No Baghdadian accent: Sucks and Spews.
  4. Sweat test failures: Seizure, Cums Alone
  5. Mother hash other than Boston: Bis*xual Bondage B*tch, Plascentos, SATRAC, Just Taji
  6. Other down downs were for same shirts, bald guys, private parties, etc. etc.

A naming was attempted and given up on for Just Deeley. She was not named any of the following: Bloody Mighty Crack Climber, Mighty Crack Ho, BU Broke In, Stick it in my Star, Bloody Panties, Fantasy Island, Twa-too, Twats Too, I Wouldn't Suck That Girl's T*ts”, Twats Out for the Boys, nor Viva Cocks Vegas (tho the last one was almost awarded).

At this point, circle was getting out of control, as it was almost 10 p.m. and food had yet to arrive. But, then finally High An*s walked in the door with PIZZA! And there was a quick wrap up of the never ending circle, and there was food.

INTERESTING DISCUSSION

Monthly Cycle describing the bidding war between two ex-boyfriends for her bed (last bid was $500).

—- Cums Alone, scribe

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