April 17th, 2005 - Marathon Hangover Hash

Date: April 17, 2005
Theme: Marathon Weekend Hangover Run
Hares: Snoreplay, Mudsticker
Start: Tommy Doyle's Pub, Cambridge, near Kendall Square
Beer Check: off Main St., along the railroad tracks behind some condos
On-In: Green St. Grill, off Central Square Cambridge
Time: 2:00 p.m. pack away
Total Distance: 3 miles, maybe (A-B was not even a mile)
Scribe: Cums Alone
Weather: very sunny (too bright, need a dimmer switch for the sun), 60 degrees or so

Visitors: (see names below, asterisks by visitors)
Virgins: none (I believe)
Late Cummers: Cums Alone, Fudgesuckle, Just Jose, Velvet Pelvis, Public Nuisance, Scratch & Sniff
Hashers Present: Snoreplay (hare), Mudsticker* (hare), Ass Ranger, Bleeps Sweeps & Creeps*, Breast Feeder, Bumble Beaver, Cums on Vacation*, Doggie Treat, Floppy Dick, Friar F*ck, F*cking Batman, The Hasher formerly Known as Don*, High An*s, HolyO!Zone, Homo-Bile, IMEZRU, The Jizzmopper, Kiddy Porn, Lips & Assholes*, Mary Kay*, Master Gator, More Head, Muffalotta, Nipples Erectus, Nipolean*, One Hasher at a Time, Puff-n-Stuff, Sextion 8*, Shine On Harvard Moon, Shorn Scrotum, Short & Stubby*, Snatchsquatch, Sponge Bath Square Pants, Stinky Digit (a transplant) Suck Faster B*tch*, Sugar Plum Fairy, Telecum*, TFHD*, Tub Slut*, Udder Sucker, Yeast Infection … and probably several others who left before I got to the on-in

The Start and the Run:

They don't call it a hangover run for nothing.

The day dawned bright. Too bright. Sun hurts eyes. Ouch. Head hurts. Mouth feels like ashes. Ah, yes, it was a good hash on Saturday. Long party. Many kegs. Much drinking. Head hurts.

At around 1:30 p.m. a decision was made. Go to the hangover hash (except for Flushie, she said she would "relax" a bit longer in a horizontal position). Oops. It's a bit late. No problem. Trail should be marked. Go to A. The pack had gone 15 minutes earlier. Saw Scratch & Sniff eating breakfast. Public Nuisance and Velvet Pelvis walk by and say they are getting food, as well. Go over to Fudgey & Just Jose to let them know the pack has left. We decide to get food. Tommy Doyle's has all kinds of food. Do we want to sit outside? Nope, the light hurts … inside please. Waitress comes to take our order. Mind will not comprehend menu. Can't figure out what to eat. What will stay down? Need hydration. Lemonade! No one gets brunch. We get other food and slowly consume, with brains aching slightly. Call hotline … on-in not on it yet. Sit a bit more. Do we want a beer? Nope, not just now. Finally the hotline is updated, and we leave the restaurant. A big decision is made … we will walk to Central Square. Slowly we walked, carefully crossing to the shady side of the street, thus to less disturb the remaining few brain cells.

Sure enough, we get to the Green Street Grill in time to miss the circle… no down downs for us.

Shitty Trail and Udder Sucker's dog are tied up outside. Udder Sucker's dog tries to bite us. Bad dog. We went in and joined the pack.

The On In:

Puff-n-Stuff recounted the adventures of trail and the circle, which are reproduced here:

At the beer check off Main Street, there was a pile of Jersey barriers. Muffalotta and others climbed on top of the pile to play. Muffy did a split between two barriers, much to the amusement of the pack. Kiddy Porn had to relieve himself, so he went behind the barriers, and peed … right in front of a condo complex. Residents were not amused and yelled at him. He apologized, but was unable to stop midstream.

Shitty Trail had a bad day because Udder Sucker's dog (he doesn't have a hash name yet) kept trying to hump her.

After the Beer Check, Muffalotta stepped wrong off a curb and dislocated her toe (and scraped her knee in the ensuing fall). This from someone who was able to do the splits on top of a pile of Jersey barriers unscathed? Snoreplay was not at the on-in because he had to take Muffy to the hospital. Eventually he returned, and said she would be okay, the toe was just dislocated, so they popped it back in.

So Muffy got an in-absentia hash crash down down, with Puffy performing the honors.

Nipples Erectus did a tap dance for the pack, but she didn't have feathers, which would have been much appreciated. There was a same shirts down down. Floppy got a down down for bike riding the trail. The Hasher Formerly Known as Don (Halve Mein H3) was given the Boston Hash Name of Pig F*cker. Kiddy Porn got a Hash Darwin Award down down for his poor choice of an impromptu bathroom. Visitors were given a down down as well. Snatchsquatch got a down down for her one year Hashiversary.

And as Puffy finished his story, the cops appeared at the Green Street Grill. I am proud to report that the hash got busted for the hash dogs. Seems that they were creating a nuisance in front of the bar and people complained. So they had to move the dogs around the side of the building.

And that was the hangover hash.

Quote: "I would have sex with Michael Jackson for $3 million. Of course, I'd have to figure out how to look 10 years old." - Fudgey

—- Cums Alone, your humble scribe

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